Well, it will if you're anything like me, anyway.
...and have a tendency to live vicariously through blog writers.
So, I know that every time I go to a DEATHGAZE live, especially a one-man live (as in, they are playing the set alone, and not sharing the stage with anyone else all night), it will never do anything other than delight me utterly. And that, mind you, is with a regular crappy entry number, somewhere back in the 100s. It's a good time for everyone, no matter where you're standing.
So I forgot to get a picture on the first night.
I didn't think they'd change the poster, geez.
I'm not sure why I didn't think that having AMAZING numbers (nine and fifteen, respectively, for this two-night show) would enhance the experience so much...but, well, chalk that one up to youthful stupidity I guess.
(Also, perhaps, the fact that I'm still recovering from my cold. Sickness and excess mucus do strange things to the brain, you know.)
Last night, when I was up against the bar on the right side of the stage (!!!), I thought that surely things couldn't get any better. I was up against the bar, for goodness sake. I was in spitting distance, literally (no, literally; remember the 水遊び? [mizu asobi, water play]), from Ai on many an occasion, and the amount of eye contact was making my head spin (the lingering cold probably didn't help, but it was mostly the eye contact, I promise you).
I didn't get touched by Ai directly, even though the girl directly next to me was caught up in a singing
And anyway, they played amends and 死臭 (shishuu, the stench of death), two amazing older songs that I never thought I would hear live, so I thought I had maxed out my luck there.
LITTLE DID I KNOW.
But I'm getting ahead of myself.
Anyway, today, with my number fifteen, I was a little (embarrassingly) worried, because how on earth could such a number lead to an experience that could even compare to last night? I wound up arriving even earlier to make sure I got a coin locker (coincidentally, the exact same one I got yesterday--now it's going to be a thing whenever I go to KYOTO MUSE) and, of course, to ensure that I got in EXACTLY when I was supposed to, and not a second later. I was there, lined up smack dab between numbers fourteen and sixteen (ok, fourteen and seventeen, since sixteen was a little late) as soon as I possibly could be.
As soon as we were allowed in (which is again a testament to the AWESOME Japanese, or maybe just Visual Kei, live system--numbers, people), I fought myself to keep a not-running pace up to the stage. I would not be that gaijin, thank you very much. As expected, I could not get a center-stage-bar position like the night before--it was either second row, or bar off to the side. As I am, at heart, a sucker for Ai's performance more than anything else, I took the first option. Besides, being as I am 5'8", I could still see over the two ladies in front of me, easily. I didn't have anywhere to put my bag down like the night before, but such is life.
Once the live began... I realized how VERY close to the center I was. (I mistyped I as Ai right there... I'm not sure if that means anything...) Being decisive won out--another woman was dithering between my spot and another, but I wasn't having any of that nonsense. Dead center or bust, sweetheart! But, yes. Dead center. As in, I wondered if I could have handled it had I been in the front. Ai is a very... vivacious performer.
I thought I was overwhelmed last night. HOO boy.
Anyway. Enough with the suspense. Because, really, up until the good part, it was pretty normal--DEATHGAZE fans are very good about "look, don't touch". Ai has a tendency to lean out into the audience and manhandle people during the performance--something he couldn't do if the fans were grabby. I, personally, am impressed by our restraint, but it's just another thing to admire about DEATHGAZE fans, really. He leaned out astonishingly close a few times, but we're all good and move around him, so other than the mild heart palpitations brought on by being within easy licking distance of a man who you, on some level, worship (because isn't that what going to a rock concert is, on some level? I was thinking about that tonight, and... oh, damnit, digressing), it was all par for the course.
As far as memory serves, they perform the song "paranoid parade" at just about every show. It's a good song, good for rocking out and headbanging to, and good for Ai to give some delightful oral-based fanservice during. Normally, that is the highlight of the song for me--watching Ai stick his fingers in his mouth and working through various, delightful tongue contortions is... well.
It's enjoyable, all right? Back off.
But today. Today.
Today, during one of the later verses...
Ai got down onto the audience floor.
Reached past the ladies in the front row.
To grab my head.
AND SERENADE ME DIRECTLY.
HE WAS SINGING WHILE GAZING INTO MY EYES AND CARESSING MY HEAD/HAIR/FACE/MASK.
OH MY GOD.
Quite frankly, I'm pretty thankful for the mask, because I don't know what my face would have looked like if I didn't have that mild level of protection up between us.
For goodness sake, I know what the man smells like now.
He smells really nice.
AND SO DID MY HAIR.
If I were a certain level or two above where I am, in terms of obsession, I might not wash my hair.
Unfortunately, it's all sweaty, and I also got at least two splashes of 水遊び on top of that.
I am, however, saving the mask.
And labeling it.
OH MY GOD.
I am also very proud of myself for acting very normally throughout the rest of the live. To the point where he rested the microphone on top of my head momentarily to get the shouts from the back of the audience, and I just made sure I held still enough to support his arm.
But holy crap guys.
Just so we're clear.
JUST SO WE'RE CLEAR.
AI GRABBED MY HEAD IN THE MIDDLE OF A LIVE AND SERENADED ME.
I knew only good things would happen if they came to Kyoto.
ONLY GOOD THINGS.
This is Edo, signing off in subtle amazement that she can still actually form sentences.
BECAUSE HOLY CRAP.