Dude looks like a lady. (その奴は女性のように見える。）

It's just not as catchy in Japanese, is it? I admit, my translation of "dude" may be suspect, but I challenge you to come up with a better one in thirty seconds. I know that Jim Breen offers up 伊達者 (datesha) or 伊達男 (dateotoko) as alternatives, but... really.If that doesn't sound stitlted I don't know what does.

Well, where's that amazing translation you were bragging about?

... nothing? I didn't think so. From now on, we'll keep our mouthy comments to ourselves, won't we?

(...I know that talking to yourself is a sign of insanity, but what about talking to readers who may or may not be present, and who I know for a fact won't respond?)

Anyway.

As you may have surmised by the title (borrowed from Aerosmith as it may be), today's post will deal with the (I think) very interesting reality of cross-dressing in Japan.

First of all, this is another instance where Japan is surprisingly tolerant, especially in comparison to the anonymous yet infinitely superior (cough) West. Though it's rather short, there's a very interesting article here on CNN, less than a year old, stating that Japan is, on the whole, quite tolerant and even accepting of transvestitism (there's even a book out to guide men on their way to looking like women).

"...so long as they're pretty."

Ok, ok, so that might knock back their amazing sense of tolerance just a touch, but think about it.

(There's an interesting article in Japanese here discussing the phenomenon, including the new cross-dressing maid cafes. Even if you can't read the language, simply go for the pictures. Those are all men. Yes, all men. If this is a general sample, "pretty" may not be a unreasonable bar to meet.)

Transvestitism, as we know it, can express a number of different things, from a burgeouning desire to become transsexual (that is, change physical gender) to a simple desire to wear clothing traditionally designated to the opposite gender--Eddie Izzard, quirky hilarious comedian extraordinaire, would be an example of this. (Yes, I did just sneak Eddie Izzard into my Japan blog. Clearly, I am a master of the ways of the internet.)

Japan, however, has a very interesting history of it as almost entirely separate from sexuality, all starting with "hey, don't put women in the theatre, they're far too arousing!"

Yes, that's why there are no women in kabuki. Sort of ironic, considering... but I'll get to that.

It was something of a flip, really, as "...in kabuki's nascent period, women were the only performers in the plays. Soon women began attracting the wrong types of audiences and gaining too much attention from men. This type of attention raised some eyebrows and officials felt as if women were degrading the art of kabuki."

By wrong types of audiences, of course, we mean the kind that like to pay for sex. Anyway, as the government banned women from performing in the theatre in 1629 (thank you for the refresher and the quote, Wikipedia) men had to take on their roles, because it would just be silly to write plays about men and men alone. No one wants that sort of sexist entertainment!

... ha, ha, I made a funny.

Anyway, I'll let Wikipedia tell you why banning women from the theatre was something of a moot point, if they were going for wholesome family values:

The modern all-male kabuki, known as yarō kabuki (young man kabuki), was established during this period. After women were banned from performing, cross-dressed male actors, known as onnagata ("female-role") or oyama, took over. Young (adolescent) men were preferred for women's roles due to their less masculine appearance and higher pitched voices compared to adult men. In addition, wakashu (adolescent male) roles, played by young men often selected for attractiveness, became common, and were often presented in an erotic context.^[6] Along with the change in the performer's gender came a change in the emphasis of the performance: increased stress was placed on drama rather than dance. Their performances were equally ribald, however, and the male actors too were available for prostitution (to both female and male customers). Audiences frequently became rowdy, and brawls occasionally broke out, sometimes over the favors of a particularly handsome young actor, leading the shogunate to ban first onnagata and then wakashu roles. Both bans were rescinded by 1652. 

Have I ever mentioned that the Tokugawa populous wasn't all that picky about sexuality? Men were rather expected to be bisexual, and didn't even bother with classifying things the way we do now. Sometimes you liked to sleep with boys, and sometimes with girls, and no one really raised a fuss. Women did not, as far as I know, have similar liberties in choosing their bed-mates, as a whole, though there are a number of erotic prints depicting female-female sexuality out there. And hey, everyone was allowed to buy prostitutes!

... wow. I think I was originally supposed to be talking about modern cross-dressers, wasn't I?  This is what happens when you let a Tokugawa-buff start rambling, kids, remember that....

Anyway. It has often been hypothesized that, because of this long and strong history of men dressing as women for public enjoyment, Japan doesn't seem to have much of an issue with gender-bending apparel in the current day. I agree with this sentiment entirely, and feel that it is helped along by the fact that kabuki is still going strong, as are 女形 (onnagata) and their popularity. Do a Youtube search if you don't believe me:



This kid (早乙女太一) is one of the most popular currently; I discovered him while doing research for my own 女形 project while studying abroad, and man is he gorgeous. Also ridiculously young, but hey. There are a bunch of people out there making my youth feel squandered; at least he's pretty.

On sort of the flip side of kabuki is 宝塚歌劇団 (Takarazuka Kagekidan, Takarazuka Review):

The Takarazuka Revue (宝塚歌劇団 Takarazuka Kagekidan) is a Japanese all-female musical theater troupe based in Takarazuka, Hyōgo Prefecture, Japan. Women play all roles in lavish, Broadway-style productions of Western-style musicals, and sometimes stories adapted from shōjo manga and Japanese folktales. The troupe takes its name from the Hankyu Takarazuka rail line in suburban Osaka.

As opposed to men being pretty, these are women being manly--or pretty, if they're playing the female roles. However, they are not being traditionally manly, but more of a stylized version of it. Nevertheless, a number of the 男役 (otokoyaku, male players) make many women in my acquaintance (and myself, come to think of it) feel a little weak in the knees:



Er. Yes. Don't ask me to interpret, because Takarazuka is notoriously difficult to understand for us foreign types, especially when we don't understand the story going in. There were ads up for this one all over during the first part of my study abroad in Kyoto, though, and it looked dreadfully cool. I think that it was based on a Chinese myth/legend, though I could be way off base.

Again, these women are extremely popular, and tickets for their shows are horribly expensive--so much so that I never was able to go see one. Training to enter the troupe is also ridiculously difficult and extensive, and often women are selected very young.

What I'm trying to say, with all my long-winded off-topic rambling, is that cross-dressing is a fact of life in Japan, with deep roots in their cultural history and a long-held respect as a high form of art.

Therefore, it is no wonder that cross-dressing occurs so frequently in modern popular media with no detriment to the participants, particularly on variety shows. And in that case, it really doesn't matter whether or not they're pretty, so long as they're entertaining.

(Though I suppose it would be even more crass to demand that lifestyle transvestites were entertaining instead of pretty, wouldn't it.)



Here, the above-mentioned 女形 (told you he was popular) teaches Kimutaku and Sanma (coincidentally one of Melon's favorite talents) his art on their little variety segment, which is always full of hilarity. Notice how bloody elegant Kimutaku is. Truly, he has been elevated from "perfect man" to "perfect human being."

...It's always dangerous to bring up Kimutaku on this blog, have you noticed?

But I did say hilarity. Traditional Japanese theatre, while elegant and refined, does not hilarity make.

This does.



Yes. They're trying to re-create a Beyonce video. Replacing her first with Sanma, then Kimutaku when he can't take Sanma's fail-tastic performance anymore. (Most of the hilarity in the first bit comes from Sanma's laughable attempts to look like Beyonce; Kimutaku, tasteful and gorgeous pop-idol that he is, is definitely not impressed.)

Hilarious? Yes. Shocking, when we look at Kimutaku's legs? God yes.

Embarrassing, for either of these men? Nary a bit. Kimutaku is married with two children, and can still do this sort of thing without any fear. I mean, after all, he takes over because he can do it right, not just because it's his turn.

And I rightly think that that is pretty awesome.

Also, pay attention around the five minute mark: the male staff members begin leering at Kimutaku, and he rightly protests, saying that he--note the sudden switch to the super-masculine pronoun, "ore"--now understands what women feel in this situation. Sanma, though finding the situation quite hilarious, does feel obliged to remind them that Kimutaku's a "32-year-old, middle-aged guy" (at the time of this shooting anyway), though no one seems very bothered by such trivialities. That, my friends, is a surprising lack of concern about gender, sexuality, and masculinity. Color me intrigued... though admittedly not by the best of circumstances, ah ha.

Show me something comparable from America. Yes, I do have to single us out now, because Britain seems to have gotten over this hurdle, at least when it comes to comedy and dealing with a dearth of double X chromosomes:



Yes, that's right, Eddie Izzard and Monty Python in my Japan blog. Feel free to bow down before my amazing tangential and referential mastery.

And, when you do find me that example in American media, remember: it must not be a source of embarrassment for the cross-dresser at hand. It can be meant to be humorous, but the person in question cannot feel ashamed, uncomfortable, or generally put-upon in his or her gender-atypical clothing.

Also, it cannot be a teeny-bopper movie that slurs the name of Shakespeare.

Go on. I'm actually quite eager to see what people find; I'm very willing to admit defeat and gracious accept America as truly and totally tolerant and accepting of transvestites and cross-dressing, especially in the media.

...but what with this lot's tendency of silence, I doubt I'll be corrected today.

Oh well.

This is Edo, signing off thinking that she probably should avoid trying to write editorial pieces in the future.

PS- A little blog note, for those of you who have noticed--I finally figured out how to re-size videos to suit my rather narrow format. I do hope you enjoy it, and aren't instead repulsed by the strange new dimensions given to videos you may know and love.

I also have that nifty flag counter over there now... because I admit that I am very much interested in whether or not this thing is actually reaching anyone or not. Hopefully it doesn't jar the eye too much.

Home at last. (やっと帰った。)

Ah, nothing better than being home again after a long trip without some of the more basic ammenties.

... Of course, when I say that, I mean air conditioning and soft toilet paper.

Some might say I was spoiled. I say...

No, no, I guess that's really the only word there is for it. Huh.

Anyway, as I am still getting used to solid ground beneath my feet, I'm sorry to say that this will be another of those topic-less posts that is more me rambling than anything else.

Hey, hey, what else do you want when I'm still reeling like the deck is tossing beneath me?

I had a few more ideas for cell-phone e-mails while I was away. Thrilling, I know, but remember. Sea brain. Or, lake brain, really, but it amounts to the same thing in the end.

7) tokugawa no (徳川の, Tokugawa's... Of the Tokugawa...)

This one makes a little bit more sense if you understand the pun behind my nickname. You see, the Tokugawa period, along with being pretty much my favorite period of Japanese history (yes, you can have a favorite period of history, Japanese or otherwise) also goes by another name: the Edo period, so named after the capital at the time, Edo (modern-day Tokyo.) Sometimes, when explaining my nickname to Japanese people, I preface it with 徳川時代のような。。。 (Like the Tokugawa period...)

Which leads into another idea:

8) edo jidai no [you na] (江戸時代の[ような], The Edo period's... Of the Edo period... [Like the Edo period])

 This is actually the more common explanation that falls from my lips when telling people what they should call me. Definitely a less convoluted way to explain things. I used to take offense when people made the jump, and even fought the nickname for quite some time while a freshman in college, but eventually I came to embrace the name in its entirety, partially due to the love for the Tokugawa period I discovered my sophomore year.

It's funny how we change as we get older.

...she said, speaking still from her early twenties.

Mock me if you will, but it seems old from my perspective. Especially considering that fact that, for some reason, I keep thinking that it's still 2008... I'm not sure why. I just had another instance of it this afternoon, when I my mother mentioned 2006 and said that was four years ago, and I was confused...

Although maybe that's just my lake head talking.

In other, possibly more interesting cell-phone related news, Melon and I have pretty much come to the conclusion that AU is the provider to go with. Based on their rate calculator (Japanese only, my English-speaking readers), it seems that they offer, by far, the best deal--admittedly, Docomo is somewhat comparable, but the foreign rates aren't quite as good, nor do I have any sort of experience with them.

Plus, there is always that possibility that AU will let me reactivate my old phone. A slim possibility, but a possibility that I would like to entertain nevertheless.

Because I love my old phone.

And I don't know how I feel about the phones that will be available for cheap come August.... though I am still tempted by the beautiful color possibilities of the SH005, despite its possible lack of outside-display capabilities. (I may have shallow desires when it comes to phones, but I remain picky!)

...somehow, this post seems a bit empty. So I suppose I will fall back to the old stand-by of scrounging through youtube until I find something suitably Japan-related and interesting in my list of favorites.

... is that really what you're supposed to do in a blog? Oh well.



I actually discovered these guys (宇宙戦隊NOIZ, Universe Squadron NOIZ) accidentally one morning upon waking up early to catch a train to Kyotango; I turned the TV on whilst eating my breakfast, and happened upon some sort of strange early morning music show. The lead singer was... speaking about their new single, I believe, dressed in some sort of feather boa, spandex, high-heel combination.

I was intrigued. And they're sort of fun to listen to, not to mention the sheer effort that appears to go into their videos. Perhaps they'll get their own post one day.

... if only because of the confusion caused by this brief glimpse into their world.

Hey, remember, I did say that I wanted to expand your horizons.

But I suppose that a little adorable Kimutaku-goodness is in order, for those of you who don't really appreciate my ventures into the strange and slightly perturbing.

(You have to admit though, it is a catchy tune.)



Did I say it was adorable, or did I say it was adorable?

(The basic jist, for you non-Japanese-speakers, is that Kimutaku's grandfather is worried about how he's getting on, and Kimutaku reassures him by explaining how Secom comes to clean his house, among other things.)

Here, Kimutaku is sporting his new hairstyle, which I can only presume he got for his lead role Tsuki no Koibito (which I have mentioned and will write a post about, someday). He's a serious, cruel sort of guy, and long, auburn curls just don't go with that image.

They go with Mr. Brain.

This is Edo, signing off with her brain still confused about this whole solid ground concept.

Pretty and smart to boot! (佳麗の上、頭がいい！)

You know, it's not really good for my ego to check how many readers I have on a daily basis. Every once and a while, sure, but daily?

You people are so fickle. Why must you leave me so often? Why must my audience drop by factors of three regularly? It's tough to bear!

I guess my only choice is to continue producing quality material in the hopes that you will one day see the light...

And to, you know, keep that one e-mail subscriber I have feel that he/she's getting their money's worth. I do my best, my friend!

...though I am reverting to the old stand-by today. It's a good stand-by, what can I say!

Not to mention that I was watching it yesterday as a for of stress relief.

Oh yes, MR. BRAIN...



They began advertising it about a month before I left Japan. A drama with both Kimutaku and Mizushima Hiro, I said? How can you go wrong, I said?

...no, that wasn't a build up to a fall. I apologize for the convoluted writing.

MR. BRAIN is everything you could ever hope for and more.

Except for maybe Mizushima Hiro's hair. That's a little... meh.



I mean, so a perm vomited on his head. I'm sure it wasn't his decision.

And besides, when you're next to the fabulousness of Kimutaku's hair, there's really not a whole lot you can do, competition-wise.



Just look at him. No one's topping that. It simply isn't conceivable.

(... does the editorial content of this blog suffer whenever I begin to gush uncontrollably over this man...? Just checking.)

Ok, all right, enough with the aesthetic appreciation, and on to the actual meat of the matter. Again, from the lovely DramaWiki, because I am nothing if not a lover of the block quote:

Tsukumo Ryusuke is a quirky, yet brilliant neuroscientist working for the National Research Institute of Police Science. Wielding a unique perspective and psychology, Tsukumo tackles the nation's most baffling crimes and scandals, going head-to-head with the most brilliant and twisted criminal minds. But his eccentricities and poor social timing can also aggravate people and circumstances, further complicating matters.

... man. I don't even want to credit that to TBS, because it's embarrassing for them. Step up those summarizing skills, guys!

What the conspicuously FAIL to mention is the fact that Kimutaku Tsukumo was originally a host. Yes, that's right: Kimutaku was playing a role where he sold his body nightly.

I won't say a thing.

Anyway, during a rather bumbling but charming moment (he was attempting to help a woman who had broken her heel), Tsukumo, the average, not exactly intelligent yet extremely beautiful host, gets hit by a falling scaffolding.

That's right, you guessed hit.

Brain Injury => Super Brain Powers.

Because the American media never does scientifically unreasonable things like that. No siree bob.

...

Anyway.

After some rather poor explanation and a time skip, we come to the present day, where the now super-intelligent yet super-weird (personal space issues and an obsession with bananas anyone?) has been hired by the National Research Institute of Police Science.

Also, the equipment they give him is quite impossible. Admittedly, as this is, theoretically, the height of classified technology, it is conceivable that such things do exist, but as it stands... holographic projectors and massively capable touch-screen desks with the ability to absorb information directly through the screen.... Forgive me for being a little bit dubious.

However, if you know that any of this definitely exists, please, do tell me. I'm just as ready and willing as the next guy to squeal over exciting new technology.

Anyway.

Even if this wasn't a drama starring Kimutaku and Mizushima Hiro, it would be a pretty decent Police Drama anyway. As it is, we get to spend a lot of time watching Kimutaku being an eccentric genius (do you see me arguing?) and receiving a small dose of layman neuroscience in the form of animated sprites every episode.

Oh. Also.

If you listen to Kimutaku's radio show, you also get a very dirty comment about bananas that I can only assume was inspired by Tsukumo's obsession with the fruit.

And I mean a dirty comment. Ooo, it gives me chills.

This is Edo, signing off wondering if she is too easily swayed by the beauty of certain Japanese men...

Happy birthday to me～ (自分に誕生日おめでとう～)

Well, readers of mine, it is my birthday. 22 years of age and still kicking along.

And you know what that means.

.... that's right.

A day of little to no editorial content in favor of interesting things that make me smile.

As I've mentioned time and time again, it is my blog. You want posts that cater to your whim, then you're going to have to start one yourself.

Of course, I will still stay within the main theme of Japan; with such a broad and forgiving topic as that of this blog, the least I can do is not diverge from it.

Anyway.

The following is by far the best advertisement that I ever saw lining the walls of a train:



If you simply appreciate the aesthetics and don't find yourself snickering uncontrollably... well, please don't let me taint the purity of your mind.




I'm honestly not sure what this is, nor what it was for, but do you see me complaining? I don't think so.



No one likes Goro. Poor, poor Goro.

Also, the thought of Kimutaku sleeping in a giant, lush bed awash with zebra print... it just slays me.

Ok, ok, I hear you. Enough with the Kimutaku already.



It makes me laugh every time.

Gackt is a special, special man... who may or may not get his own blog post some day in the future.

And finally...



A little bit of Atsushi goodness.

Apparently, when he did his own album... he went the a little bit crazy with the electro-rock root. Melon and I plan to one day host some sort of glow-stick rave with this album on repeat in the background.

Ah, the simple pleasures in life.

This is Edo, signing off wondering if her stress is going to simply keep building up in the coming years...

Busy times... （忙しい時。。。)

Let it be known, dear readers of mine, that as a soon-to-be-graduating-senior, I am currently suffering from Interesting Times.

You know. Two finals on Wednesday. Kinda thing.

...Even though I'm totally and utterly done with thesis. There ought to be some sort of law against that.

But let it never be said that I don't entertain you!

You know I love キムタク. Most people are aware of this fact.

But did you know that Japan shares my love in every possible way?

I mean, he wasn't the longest-running holder of the Sexiest Man in Asia position for nothing, you know. (I could cite that but... you know. Busy. And tired. Don't judge me.) And, as I mentioned, he's also credited with that whole inspiring Japanese men to pretty themselves up a bit thing. How can this man be so powerful in the minds of so many, I hear you cry.

A simple glance at television is enough to let you know.



He is an incredibly successful (and in the above instance, adorable) spokesperson for everything.



And anything.



Especially GATSBY products, which range from men's skin care to hair styling products to... well, body paper. It apparently rids you of unsightly sweat.

It could give you scurvy for all I care; I would still enjoy the commercials for it immensely.



There's a reason they play some of these commercials only at night, you know. Too exciting for the general public.



Oh dear. Is it getting hot in here, or is it just my computer screen?

People hire this man for a reason; their products sell when he dances with them on the screen. 37 years of age he may be, but losing his power as a sex symbol? He is not. キムタク is a veritable tidal wave of pure lust and commercialism, all rolled up in what seems to be an incredibly nice man.

Goodness, I get chills just typing about him.

Well, dear readers, I hope that I have given you sufficient evidence to support my long-lasting love for all that is, was, and will be the man called キムタク. If not, well... I did distract you from the fact that there was absolutely no editorial content in this post, didn't I?

This is Edo, signing off while thinking wistfully of long, auburn curls...

A little bit at a time. （一度に少しずつ。）

I have, in earlier posts, mentioned my love of SMAP. Or, more importantly, my love of Kimutaku which has sort of encompassed SMAP as a whole.

Well. I thought I'd gradually draw you all in, so as not to frighten you off.

So, today. Installment one of "getting to know SMAP."

... but, uh. I mean this totally... flippantly, shall we say. I do not have the patience to actually sit down and write you a history or anything.

No, this is mostly going to be me showing you videos, and you going "ooo, aah" appreciatively at appropriate moments. This is a blog, not a public service announcement. You've got to learn to do things on your own, you know!

Well, according to good ol' Wikipedia:

SMAP is a Japanese idol group formed by Johnny & Associates. While originally consisting of six members, the current group members are Masahiro Nakai, Takuya Kimura, Tsuyoshi Kusanagi, Goro Inagaki and Shingo Katori. The group's name is an acronym standing for Sports Music Assemble People.

SMAP debuted their first CD in 1991 and has since released over forty singles and twenty albums. Approximately half the singles and a third of the albums reached the top of the Japanese Oricon music charts. In recent times, the interval between the band's single CD releases has become longer, and are now released approximately once a year.

The members of SMAP have also pursued careers outside of music, including involvement in television variety shows, dramas, commercials, and movies, making them one of the most popular Johnny's groups. Largely due to their popularity, Johnny & Associates became the most successful agency in Japan, with earnings of almost three billion Japanese yen in 1995.[1] Their fanbase consists primarily of Japanese women. SMAP is often considered to have gone past the so called "Idol Group" status, and have become the "Top Group" in Japan. SMAP is also well known in many other Asian countries.

Can you tell I'm an academic?

Yea, they're pretty big. Also, Kimutaku (the nickname given to Kimura Takuya that everyone, even people who don't lust after him, uses) is credited as being the catalyst that launched the modern wave of Japanese males who go to salons, style their hair, and generally take care of their appearances. This especially stands out in comparison to, say, American males, who tend to find such activities as indicators of homosexuality. Because, yea, that follows.

But I won't get into gender and sexuality today, kids.

Instead, I'm sure I speak for many when I say, "thank you, Kimutaku." Also, "homina homina." Or whatever it is you kids say nowadays.

Anyway, the important thing is that SMAP does a variety show every Monday night (late, which is an indicator of its potential for raunchiness) called SMAPxSMAP, which always involves a bit where they cook for guests, sing with other guests, and a number of sketches or games in between (which may or may not involve cross-dressing.) A very satisfying show, I must say... although the cooking bits always get me salivating. I assume they weren't so skilled ten years ago, but now, they produce five-star restaurant quality meals. It's mind-blowing.

ANYWAY.

The singing, which always takes place at the end, can be good or bad, depending on their chemistry with whoever the singing guest is.



With Superfly, for instance. I love them both, but SMAP doesn't really get into it until about half-way through. I'm thinking it may have been a bad day, because the interview afterward seemed amiable enough.

(Side note, but I love how Japanese music shows always have the lyrics on the bottom of the screen. Very helpful. It also puts me in a translating kind of mood... Not that you're interested, I'm sure.)

(Another side note is that Nakai, the one typically wearing a hat, cannot sing. This is not debatable. He simply can't. He may have been able to before his voice became that hoarse smoker's rasp that he's got now, but, as it is... just no. Don't question it, just let it go.)



And yet, for some reason, they seem to get along very well with the Black Eyed Peas. Who knew. (Although Kimutaku does complain that Fergie abuses him; notice her enthusiastic moshing at the end. DO NOT LIKE.)



And then sometimes, they just go at it alone, which has its benefits. After all, they are a boy band. If they're not using their own songs, their choreography gets all mucked up.

(I'm a little biased, I admit. I think Kimutaku looks particularly nice in this video. I love the half pony-tail look. Also, I, uh... kind of love this song. DON'T JUDGE ME.)

ANYWAY.

I hope you enjoyed today's installment of "Getting to know SMAP," and be sure to tune in again next time, when we will discuss how exactly men in their mid to late 30's can get away with this kind of malarkey.

This is Edo, signing off completely unashamed of her passion for Kimutaku.