Happy birthday to me～ (自分に誕生日おめでとう～)

Well, readers of mine, it is my birthday. 22 years of age and still kicking along.

And you know what that means.

.... that's right.

A day of little to no editorial content in favor of interesting things that make me smile.

As I've mentioned time and time again, it is my blog. You want posts that cater to your whim, then you're going to have to start one yourself.

Of course, I will still stay within the main theme of Japan; with such a broad and forgiving topic as that of this blog, the least I can do is not diverge from it.

Anyway.

The following is by far the best advertisement that I ever saw lining the walls of a train:



If you simply appreciate the aesthetics and don't find yourself snickering uncontrollably... well, please don't let me taint the purity of your mind.




I'm honestly not sure what this is, nor what it was for, but do you see me complaining? I don't think so.



No one likes Goro. Poor, poor Goro.

Also, the thought of Kimutaku sleeping in a giant, lush bed awash with zebra print... it just slays me.

Ok, ok, I hear you. Enough with the Kimutaku already.



It makes me laugh every time.

Gackt is a special, special man... who may or may not get his own blog post some day in the future.

And finally...



A little bit of Atsushi goodness.

Apparently, when he did his own album... he went the a little bit crazy with the electro-rock root. Melon and I plan to one day host some sort of glow-stick rave with this album on repeat in the background.

Ah, the simple pleasures in life.

This is Edo, signing off wondering if her stress is going to simply keep building up in the coming years...

No need for realism. (現実性は必要なし。)

Again, for those of you who are interested: I am done with the academic portion of my undergraduate career. All that's left is to graduate.

... I assume it will sink in eventually.

In the meantime, it appears I've found a go-to niche for when my creative juices run dry:

Drama review.

What, you had something better in mind? Well, it's not your blog, is it.

Today, we'll be discussing

必殺仕事人 (Hissatsu Shigotonin, or "Certain Kill Worker")

(...forgive me for that translation, apparently my brain is a little dead at the moment.)



According to Drama Wiki this time:

This show marks the return of the jidaigeki series "Hissatsu Shigotonin," which has had several seasons between the 1970s and the 1990s. The franchise came back in 2007 with a one-shot special, but this is its first full season since 1992. Makoto Fujita returns as the protagonist Nakamura Mondo, one of the "shigotonin," a team of hired assassins.

Admittedly, they apparently took it from Tokyograph but... let's not get our panties in a knot over proper citation in a blog here.

Basically, this show is about Tokugawa (or Edo, hur) era assassins, and how they go about their daily lives. It's highly episodic, and there really isn't any over-arching plot (other than some character development), but it's a good series despite that. Admittedly, I sometimes prefer the episodic formula; makes for easier watching.



Every episode focuses around the misdoings of one particular group of people (thugs, brothel owners, creepers, what have you), and also around what the assassin group (who are your average samurai, old samurai, weird artist, strangely Johnny's-boy-looking merchant, and awesome middle-aged woman) happens to be doing at the time. Usually, they're just dealing with their own issues, but sometimes, they happen to get involved with the hubub, and thus take more than a casual interest when they are hired to off the group.

As it is, of course, set in the past, everyone speaks in some sort of psuedo-古典 (classical) Japanese, so it's a bit difficult to understand... I say psuedo, because if it were legitimate 古典, I would probably have a much easier time with it. Huzza for Japanese major requirements. Admittedly, what they spoke in Tokugawa Japan is not what I study in Classical, but... meh. It's difficult to say what they spoke, really, and so no one really knows. I suppose their guess is as good as any, but I remain dubious.

And what about the title, you may ask. What's so unrealistic about killing people in Tokugawa Japan?

Oh, only everything.

Admittedly, the samurai guys are ok; hack and slash, I believe, though there is a significant lack of ANY blood. EVER.

However.

Johnny's boy? Kills with some sort of bamboo-string-snake-whip. I kid you not. He holds it upright, and somehow it leaps from its case and chokes his target to death a good five, eight feet away, just because he's doing a few jerky motions that don't really seem to be accomplishing anything, physics-wise.

Pardon me while I protest.

Crazy artist man is a bit more realistic; he stabs his targets with a long, thick needle through the shoulder, and pierces their hearts. That, I could buy.

But he has to change clothes before he does it.

Into some sort of deranged, gay superhero outfit.

And it is never explained why.

...yup.

But really, though I complain, the craziness is most of why I love this series. Not to mention my adoration for the Tokugawa period in general. It's a win-win all around, even if sometimes I don't quite know what's going on.

Definitely recommended, though if your Japanese level is much below mine (aka conversationally quite advanced), I'd look for some subtitles. Even I don't get a lot of it, I just have a smattering of pride to deal with.

This is Edo, signing off free and clear... except for job searching.

Busy times... （忙しい時。。。)

Let it be known, dear readers of mine, that as a soon-to-be-graduating-senior, I am currently suffering from Interesting Times.

You know. Two finals on Wednesday. Kinda thing.

...Even though I'm totally and utterly done with thesis. There ought to be some sort of law against that.

But let it never be said that I don't entertain you!

You know I love キムタク. Most people are aware of this fact.

But did you know that Japan shares my love in every possible way?

I mean, he wasn't the longest-running holder of the Sexiest Man in Asia position for nothing, you know. (I could cite that but... you know. Busy. And tired. Don't judge me.) And, as I mentioned, he's also credited with that whole inspiring Japanese men to pretty themselves up a bit thing. How can this man be so powerful in the minds of so many, I hear you cry.

A simple glance at television is enough to let you know.



He is an incredibly successful (and in the above instance, adorable) spokesperson for everything.



And anything.



Especially GATSBY products, which range from men's skin care to hair styling products to... well, body paper. It apparently rids you of unsightly sweat.

It could give you scurvy for all I care; I would still enjoy the commercials for it immensely.



There's a reason they play some of these commercials only at night, you know. Too exciting for the general public.



Oh dear. Is it getting hot in here, or is it just my computer screen?

People hire this man for a reason; their products sell when he dances with them on the screen. 37 years of age he may be, but losing his power as a sex symbol? He is not. キムタク is a veritable tidal wave of pure lust and commercialism, all rolled up in what seems to be an incredibly nice man.

Goodness, I get chills just typing about him.

Well, dear readers, I hope that I have given you sufficient evidence to support my long-lasting love for all that is, was, and will be the man called キムタク. If not, well... I did distract you from the fact that there was absolutely no editorial content in this post, didn't I?

This is Edo, signing off while thinking wistfully of long, auburn curls...

I wanna roll you up! (お前を丸めたい！)

For all of you lovely readers who are interested: your host is the official recipient of the 2010 Pomona College Japanese thesis prize. Not only am I entertaining, I'm academically decorated!

Oh, aren't you just thrilled to pieces.

Anyway. We have discussed my status as a video game nerd, correct?

As such, I decided that hey, why not throw some video game reviews into the mix?

Of course, it goes without saying that I will only be reviewing Japanese-made games.

Because, after all, this is a Japan blog, people. You want reviews of Halo? Go somewhere else.

僕の私の塊魂



Or, "Me and My Katamari" for you American types (I must admit, I have the American version... they don't tend to sell them foreign games here in America-land.)

First, the basic point of this game, for those of you who have not played Katamari titles in the past (you poor poor souls) is exceedingly simple: you, the dashing Prince of All Cosmos, roll things up.

And up.



And up and up and up.



The point is, of course, to get as big a 塊 (which loosely translates to "lump" or "mass") as you can manage, which, in this installment, will be turned into an island for whoever the Prince happens to be assisting at the moment. (In others you get to make planets, so I do feel a bit short-changed.) They may want a bright island, or a heavy island, but really, the main point is to roll up anything and everything you can.

Sound simple? It is. And yet, it is by far and large one of the most engaging games I've ever played.

I don't know what it is, but this game is addicting. You play, and play, and play, and you just don't get sick of it. Don't ask me how it works, because I don't know myself.

All I know is that Namco did something AMAZING here, and that I wish I could have been part of it.

(I also wish I had discovered this franchise BEFORE my interviews... dang.)

This game is, without question, one of my favorites of all time. HIGHLY recommended. It has certainly eaten up a lot of my time recently... Oh dearie me.

Not only is it fun, it's adorable. The Prince is an excellent protagonist, even if he never speaks and is entirely too small to be possible. I mean, he pushes around katmari that get big enough to roll up VOLCANOES, and the kid is inches tall.

And then, of course, there is the King of All Cosmos. Look at this man. He is, I must say, one of the greatest video game characters ever. Bar none. No argument.



Not to mention the fact that the man localized his speech patterns is a GENIUS. Either that or he simply made the whole thing up... but I have to believe that the Japanese was similarly strange and amazing, so, we'll stick with localizing genius for now.

The music is also quite, quite excellent. I would not, however, recommend listening to "Katamari on the Rocks" in the car... (ahem)

Needless to say, I recommend you pick up this game (or any other Katamari game you can find) in short order. To say that you would not regret it would be an understatement of... well, cosmic proportions.

Oh ho, I made a funny.

This is Edo, signing off with that disturbing urge to roll over everything in her path that's slightly smaller than she is.

Do vampires even care? (吸血鬼って、気になるの？)

So, during a conversation with Melon the other day, I mentioned that I had just discovered "some gay vampire" drama.

Little did I realize much more there was to it.

And thus, a post was born.

RHプラス (RH Plus)



Being the horrible nerd that I am, I think the title is very clever. The RH factor is what determines whether your blood is positive or negative; the plus, I can only assume, indicates the former in this case. Cute name for a drama about vampires, yes?

Interestingly enough, though, as desperate as many Japanese people may be to know your 血液型 (blood type) for personality-delving and fortune-telling purposes, they don't tend to care about your RH factor. I have never, in fact, seen anything written about what it means to be positive or negative. Books on what being an O type says about you, sure, but O- versus O+? Zip.

I mean, really, it's obvious that personality traits can be determined solely by whether or not you possess a certain combination of A and B genotypes, but RH factors? Oh please, now you're just being silly.

...did I digress into condescension this time? Oops.

Anyway.

I admit, dear readers I was dubious from the beginning. Perhaps I should have stopped and saved you all the trouble... Alas.

The show opens with an illicit crime scene in a warehouse somewhere. Were this America, the baddies would be swapping drugs for cash. But no, this is Japan; they're trading guns. Yea, that's right. Guns. For those of you who didn't know, guns are absolutely illegal for civilians to own in Japan. Minds blown, oh American readers?

But that's not the dubious part. The dubious part is when the criminals hear noises... and suddenly get swooped (yes, swooped) away, one by one, by mysterious, swiftly moving man-shapes.

When only one criminal remains, he, reasonably perturbed as he is, whips out one of those illicit guns and begins to shoot wildly, of course missing anything aside from a few innocent pipes and storage boxes. Still unsettled, he begins to scream for the swoopy-people to show themselves.

Cut to two snot-nosed high-schoolers standing silhouetted by the spotlight passing through the window.

Crime fighting vampires? she snorted in mocking disbelief.

They proceed to beat the poor, unsuspecting criminal with their super-human strength and taunt him with their ridiculously high-pitched voices. They then drink what appears to be cans of tomato juice to toast their victory.

Cue opening credit sequence.

I've got to admit it to you readers; after this opening, I was hard-pressed to continue further, even though the episode was only half an hour long.

Long story short: four vampires, one house, trying to live as humans. Two are the aforementioned snot-nosed high-schoolers, Ageha and Makoto, one is a sort of creeper dude who sleeps in a room full of books (the last bit I can totally dig) who's name I never really caught, and the last is Kiyoi, an incredibly effeminate butler who may or may not be coming on to everybody at some point during the episode.

And out of four protagonists... None of them can act for beans.

The main plot of this episode, as far as I can gather, is the attempt on the part of these crazy vampire men to capture a serial killer of students at a nearby all-girls school. To do this, of course, they decide on subterfuge, and pick Ageha, the girlier of the two high-school kids (he is pretty damn girly; all they need to do is put him in a skirt and pop some lip-gloss on) to pass as a student and... oh, I don't know, hopefully get attacked.

This, of course, happens within five minutes. Five minutes of Ageha wandering aimlessly on the street, two of those minutes taken up by being sexually harassed by three hooligans who think he's hot stuff.

This is what happens when we turn manga into dramas, people.

As for that "gay vampires" comment above? Well, at the moment, I believe the potential is between Ageha and Makoto (Ageha throws a fit when the serial killer man calls Makoto a monster), or Kiyoi and... anyone, really. He seems pretty non-discriminatory with his strangely affectionate behavior.

And as for the vampires in general bit... they go out during the day, eat regular food, and can appear in mirrors when they try hard enough. Aside from the super-strength, some sort of ritual blood (see: tomato juice) drinking after their meals, and one momentary glimpse of fang, they're rather disappointing if we're talking about children of the night. These certainly aren't you're grandfather's vampires, no siree bob.

In conclusion? Not exactly something I'd recommend, unless you're a glutton for punishment. The acting is dreadful, the storyline isn't long enough to develop properly, and all-in-all it has the trappings of a corny manga turned even cornier drama.

Admittedly, it could get markedly better after this first episode. I'm... not holding my breath.

At the same time, I may continue watching just for the resounding horribleness of it. Sort of like a car crash, you just can't look away... despite the fact that it's slowly chewing away your brain cells.

Especially since the next episode appears to involve Makoto being abducted by some sort of cross-wielding crazy... What will they come up with next!

This is Edo, signing off amazed that the pansy-vampire trope has extended as far as Japan.

Metal makes it better. (メタルはよくするもんや。)

I'm finally off the movie kick! Hooray!

... I'm guessing. I honestly don't know what you people like.

And it was only two posts, really.

Just no pleasing some people.

Anyway.

Today, we will be discussing the ever popular...

Sex Machineguns



(I've decided that pictures might be nice when I'm doing these band things too. Just a little visual help. Thoughts?)

Anyway, according to that never-ending fountain of knowledge, Wikipedia,

The Sex Machineguns are a Japanese speed metal band. Their music is characterized by a heavy focus on bass as well as extremely fast guitar and bass solos. The band rides an image of being "Shock Rockers" by wearing crazy, exotic outfits like Visual Kei bands (although this image has been toned down, especially since 2003 when the long-term bassist Noisy left the band), singing about violence (as shown in the song "FamiResuBombaa") and naming one of their live DVDs "SM Show" in a very intentional allusion to BDSM. Casting themselves as shock rockers is not the prime selling point of their music though, as they also exhibit their technical virtuosic skill on their instruments.

They say "like" Visual Kei bands. Oh no, these guys are V-Kei, old-school V-Kei. And I can respect that, my friends. I can respect that a heck of a lot. You see, I've nothing against V-Kei; Dir en grey was originally V-Kei, after all. I just don't like those newbies who think that it's still a valid concept around which to build a band, even though they couldn't write/play music to save their prettily made-up heads.

(I'm STILL looking at you, Gazette.)

And really, these guys are pretty damn legit as candidates for V-Kei because, really, if we're looking at X-Japan and BUCK-TICK as the two forerunners of the genre (which we should), bands have two options: metal or hard rock.

And the Sex Machineguns are metal baby.



See, you don't get much more metal than that. Oooh yea.

(Sorry about the youtube clips again, but I really like this video.)

The only problem is that they keep changing members... aside from Anchang, lead vocalist and guitar, no one else has been there since the beginning. That's confusing for pool little fans like me, who like to know who's playing their music at any given time.

I suppose it doesn't really matter so long as the quality doesn't change... although I have noticed that some of their albums aren't quite as good. Band strife does not make good music, people!

... speaking of V-Kei...



Ooooh yes.

And yes, this song is about みかん (mikan; think tangerine, but better and eaten during the winter by EVERYONE). Anchang and a number of the band members (how many? I couldn't tell you. One of the current guys anyway) are from Ehime in Shikoku, which is famous for its みかん. Local pride, baby. In metal form. This was their first song I heard, thanks to Melon sharing it with me after I had applied to an 英会話 school in, you guessed it, Ehime.

(And for those of you wondering? Yes, fan service is, I believe, an integral part of V-Kei. Feel free to disagree.)

(And no, I don't know what the coordinated head-banging and dance moves are about. I'm as lost as you are. That is most certainly not a typical V-Kei thing. I suppose it's just something they like to do. And can you blame them, really?)

I suppose I should apologize for this band, dear readers; in the past, I've tried to post widely palatable songs so that everyone could enjoy. Unfortunately, the Sex Machineguns make metal, metal, and... more metal. Which, hey, I think is great, but I realize that some of you may be less than thrilled.

Worry not, I will not be relegating myself to only metal reviews in the future. But it's good to have a change of pace once in a while, don't you think?

Speaking of which, enjoy an amazing video as we wind down:



Even if you don't like the music, you can appreciate how amazingly, tackily awesome it is. I estimate it cost a total of twenty dollars to produce.

But that's what makes it incredible.

This is Edo, signing off while headbanging madly. Metal is great, guys.

Is it all right even if it's confusing? (ややこしくてもいい？)

So I'm on a movie kick, you'll survive. And hey, wouldn't you be too if the last thing you watched was "Boys Love"? I mean, come on. Gotta wash those last scraps of tragedy out of my corneas.

Today, I present you with much lighter fare. No surprise tragic endings here, my friend! There is, of course, a melodramatic twist... but would we really be satisfied if there wasn't? Of course not.

(Well I don't know, maybe you would. There's not accounting for taste, I suppose.)

But, per usual, I digress.

Today, we will be discussing:

いつかの君へ (Itsuka no Kimi e; To the You of Someday)



With a tagline like 「ずっとそばにいてほしい」 (I always want you beside me), you know it's going to be good. Or, you know, at least not end in horrible, horrible sadness. (Though I admit, for the last ten minutes, I kept wondering how the director was going to fuck this one up. Shark attack? Super-volcano? WHAT?)

(Side note- Yes, both of the above are my translations. I wouldn't normally find the need to specify, but you know... the translation thieves. I'd hate to be counted among them. Especially for something so simple. I mean really.)

Made in 2007, いつかの君へ does, in fact, have links to Boys Love; remember Noeru? Well, he's Noboru this time around. Oh ho ho, clearly, this man was born to play roles which involve explicit homosexuality and No-ru names. (Of course, he also plays Noboru's twin brother Ryuu... so there goes the second part of that hypothesis. First part still holds, though.) In my opinion, this role is not nearly as well acted, which is strange considering that the movie was made later in his career... Let's just say, he doesn't do the angst very well.

His voice is still very nice though. Oh ho ho.

Digressing again. Kawai Ryuunosuke co-stars, and I can't tell you a whole lot about him. His character, Hayase, however, I can give you books on. A dorkier protagonist you could never hope to meet. This guy defines the word. He wears swim goggles while chopping onions, and still sobs his way through it. It may sound trivial, but honestly? I think that's an excellent demonstration of his character right there.

Unfortunately, as both Wikipedia and IMDB are pretty dry on the subject, I can't give you much technical information about the movie. From here on out, it's summary and opinion all the way, Edo-style.

Aren't you just thrilled to pieces.

First off, this movie is not nearly as melodramatic as Boys Love. That said, however, don't mistake it for a comedy. Yes, Hayase is a first class dork who appears to have the mentality of an ADHD five year old; however, he is the polar opposite of Noboru, who doesn't speak, doesn't have friends, and appears to be haunted by he existence of his twin.

At first, the two have no real relationship; Noboru is just that weird anti-social kid that Hayase's group of friends makes fun of. They're all in the same photography class, but seem to have no further connection. Everything changes, of course, when Noboru saves Hayase's life, in true melodramatic romance fashion: Hayase, moron that he is, tips over his rented canoe during a date with his unbelievably annoying girlfriend, and he can't right himself. He is eventually dragged ashore, unconscious and not breathing, by friends and marina workers. Noboru, who just happens to be nearby (what do I know, maybe this lake is the hip place to be), performs mouth-to-mouth (in what I think to be a medically dubious fashion), which of course revives Hayase. Revives him slightly confused about his sexuality, oh ho ho.

Hence, romantic tension.

(Side note- No, I have NO idea where this movie takes place. I'm guessing somewhere in the bum-end of Kanto, based on speech patterns and the fact that... well, lake.)

The rest of the movie follows the relationship between both Hayase and Noboru, whom Hayase has found himself to be strangely fascinated by, and Hayase and Noboru's twin Ryuu, whom he met by accident, thinking he was Noboru.

Admittedly, for the first half an hour of the movie, I wondered who the romantic tension was supposed to be with.

And then, of course, there is the twist.

...which I won't spoil for you, because if you don't see it coming, you're not paying enough attention. I mean, really, they hit you over the head with it any number of times.

... however, if you figure out why or even how, I'd love to hear it, because I still haven't figured it out myself. I might need to watch this one again...

I suppose I should have turned on those subtitles. Curse my pride. Boys Love, honestly, I understood nearly one hundred percent. This movie? I don't know, man. Maybe listening to Japanese heavy metal all day does bad things for my listening comprehension...

(Side note- Yes, we'll talk about that later.)

A little embarrassing really.

But even when I turned on the subtitles at the end? They did not help. I'm beginning to think that it's intentionally ambiguous, but... as always, I would love to hear your opinions.

All I'm saying is that movie is possibly a lot more... supernatural than it would lead you to believe. But damn it all, I just don't know!

Possibly, it suffers from its length; it's barely over an hour long. I'm not saying, of course, that you need two hours to truly tell a story, but... well, I'm just used to my Japanese movies taking about that long is all.

In conclusion? I'd recommend it. Definitely an enjoyable watch... even if I'm still not quite sure what happened in the end. It's happy, and that's what's important!

This is Edo, signing off whilst thinking that melodrama really does work better in printed form.

Why doesn't anyone warn me?! (何で誰も注意しないの？！)

Ok, ok, I'm going to preface this post with a warning. (Ironic, no?)

For you purist types out there, I may be spoiling this movie I'm about to review.

But damn it all, I would have WELCOMED the warning.

I hate it when I get lured into these things without knowing what's coming up ahead! It's like driving down a road... and suddenly, cliff. The only warning signs were the strange lack of foliage up ahead, but you could have attributed that to desert.

Ok. So.

ボイーズ・ラブ(Boys Love)



Not to be confused with "Boys Love Theatrical Release." Made in 2006, directed by Terauchi Kotaro, Boys Love was released directly onto DVD. It did so well in sales, however, that he was asked to do another version for theatrical release. In fact, he wrote a completely new story, neglected to change the title, and voila, the confusion amongst the titles begins.

But I haven't watched that yet. We're focusing on Boys Love the non-theatrical here.

And OH GOD.

Ok. I have to get at least a little bit of reviewing out before I collapse in sheer angst.

It is a beautiful movie. Yes, beautiful in a horribly melodramatic way, but very touching. The director uses the interesting device of placing famous quotes about love on the bottom of the screen during a number of points, all crucially related to what's going on at the moment. I liked that. Somehow, it came off as deep instead of frivolous. I may be alone in thinking this, but hey. It's my review.

And yet.... uurrrgh.

Ok, let's try again.

So, we have our two main characters, Mamiya and Noeru. Mamiya is a journalist, and Noeru is... some sort of model-high schooler-artist...entrepreneur. I'll leave that last part open to interpretation because I'm not one to spoil the WHOLE thing. The relationship between the two men has something of a false start (bad touch, anyone?) when Mamiya is assigned to interview Noeru for his magazine, but the movie works past it (successfully, in my opinion) and focuses on the love that gradually develops between them.

Despite what anyone else says, I do think it's a believable love story. Some of the actors weren't so great, but I'm presuming that Terauchi worked with what he had; and still, both of the leads are well done, so it's really no problem. I suppose that the gradual, day-to-day aspect of their affection may lead some to think it's forced. On the contrary, I think it makes it more realistic. But I guess there's no pleasing some people...

Back to the movie. Shocked as you may be, I watched this knowing full well that it was a love story. However, I also watched it completely oblivious as to how it would end. Happy? Sad? I had no clue.

And I really should look into these things more carefully before I get so invested in the characters. Geez.

Let me just put it out there for you, my beloved readers: this movie has a tragic ending. Despite the fact that Mamiya begins the movie by telling you that this is not a tragedy, but a story of love. (Shoulda picked up on the hint, I suppose.) I would have been bawling if my mouth hadn't been hanging open at the shock of it.

Because, aside from tragic? TOTALLY UNNECESSARY. And also stupid. Not to mention the fact that it turned around in the last freaking five minutes. You tend to think you're safe at that point.

Please, comment, because I desperately need to tell someone how stupidly pointless I think this movie's ending was. Yes, it makes it tragic. But dang it all, it was already edgy! It didn't need a horribly tragic and "meaningful" ending! The real world's crappy enough, give me my happily ever after! Terauchi, you jerk.

Criticize me for not being able to deal with sad endings if you will, but damnit it was pointless. Not to mention unbelievable and even a little creepy...

But finally, before I get off on a rant... despite what all those other reviews say? This movie does not focus on the "taboo" of homosexual relationships. That's something I really admire about it, and one of the reasons I might actually watch it again (you just don't know how much that ending got to me, man). Sure, Noeru is mentally twisted, but it's not because he's gay. Sure, the ending is tragic, but it isn't because they're being discriminated against for their pure man love. It's just a love story, and damn it, that's the kind of thing I like to see. It's only when we start producing and consuming movies like this that we truly begin to chip down the barriers in place between the sexualities.

But then they had to go and ruin it.

Terauchi, you jerk.

This is Edo, signing off with every intention of reading some real BL to cheer herself up.

These foreigners... (この外人はな。。。)

Well, when I don't have any other bright ideas, I resort to the age-old rants. One of these, as any student of Japan would know, is the gaijin rant.

I will come at this from an American perspective, for obvious reasons.

Japan thinks they know us. Thinks they know us so well that they can discriminate on a broad-sweeping basis, because we are loud, obnoxious barbarians who swear like sailors, wear American flags wherever we can stick them, and do drugs whenever we find the time.

Also, we all have guns. At least two. On us at all times.



We are a great source of comedy. (Admittedly, I also think that this is hilarious.)

And hey, as racist as it is? I can sort of see where Japan is coming from. There are a lot of people out there giving us a bad name.

There are, for instance, a large number of gaijin (tourists and English teachers alike) who don't bother learning Japanese. Ever. That is, admittedly, an American stereotype, but I've seen it in action. They even get pissed when the Japanese people don't accommodate them by speaking perfect English. And we wonder why they're flipping that bilingual McDonald's menu on us a light-speed when they spot our whitey face coming. (I flip that sucker BACK. With a smile.)

And gaijin do have this thing about drugs. What the hell, guys. There were people on my study abroad program who had snuck illegal substances in the country, then proceeded to carry them around during the year. What is WRONG with you people? Japan doesn't screw around with drug charges. But you couldn't hold off smoking a joint for eight peasely months of the year? Excuse me, but I'm going to have to revoke your "common sense" cards.

And there are of course the people who just generally don't want to blend in. (Well, you know, as much as they can. If you're not at least a little Asian, you'll never blend fully.) They're loud, obnoxious, and tend to complain to anyone who'll listen about how awful it is to be a gaijin in Japan.

Well, you moved there, genius.

The problem is? These yahoos are ruining it for the rest of us. There are a number of gaijin (your lovely host included, of course) that have a deep seated love for Japan, and have spent vast portions of our lives devoted to the study of the language, culture and history. We're not just over there for shits and giggles; we want to make a life in Japan, possibly even obtain that fabled Permanent Resident status, and be up there in the ranks with Pa-kun and David Spector. We're devoted, awesome people who Japan should be thrilled to have.

And you know what? Japan isn't helping. The JET programme, for instance. If you want to be an ALT? Having Japan knowledge can actually hurt your chances. They want someone to "expose" to Japan, to really be able to teach the locals about American culture. And if that means you don't speak a damn word of Japanese or know that you're supposed to take your shoes off before going inside, that's fine with them.

And thus the cycle perpetuates itself.

Yes, it's no picnic being a gaijin in Japan. It's not as horrible as some of the whiners would have you believe, but it sure as heck isn't the promised land where the sky rains puppies and chocolates as the weeaboos insist (over and over no matter how many times you disagree.)

(weeaboo (noun): a non-Japanese person exhibiting an obsessive admiration for Japanese anime that often extends to the broader Japanese culture)

All I'm saying is that it would help if you stereotype-gaijin-types would knock it off. Come on. You're embarrassing us over here.

This is Edo, signing off seriously thinking about starting that 外人漫才 (gaijin manzai) duo.

Good music from a game? (ゲームから、いい曲?)

Well, if we're going to be exploring my personal tastes, we might as well run the gamut, yes?

As you may have guessed from my worshipful post in regards to Mr. Alexander O. Smith (shiver), I have a deep love for video games. This love is, in fact, deep enough to guide my entire career path, and has set me on route (theoretically) to be working in the industry in the near (2-3 years) future. Pretty cool, don't you think?

... well, no one asked you.

Anyway.

The Final Fantasy series has always been one of my favorites; specifically I-X, because... well... XI's online, XII sucked, and I haven't played XIII since I don't own one of those brand-spanking-new systems. Legitimate reasons, all.

Aside from the fact that they're very good RPG games, it's the music that makes them all stand out, and the man behind the music is a rather hip dude named 植松伸夫 (Uematsu Nobuo).



I mean, come on, does he not look to be an awesome man full of hipness and music? He also lives in the woods with his wife and kids. That, I think, sums it all up.

However, let it not be said that I deprived you, my beloved readers, of further information snatched up from the wonderful Wikipedia:

Nobuo Uematsu (植松伸夫...born March 21, 1959) is a Japanese video game composer, best known for scoring the majority of titles in the Final Fantasy series. He is regarded as one of the most famous and respected composers in the video game community... Uematsu is a self-taught musician; he began to play the piano at the age of eleven or twelve, with Elton John as his biggest influence.

Uematsu joined Square (later Square Enix) in 1986, where he met Final Fantasy creator Hironobu Sakaguchi. They have worked together on numerous titles, most notably the games in the Final Fantasy series. After nearly 20 years in the company, he left Square Enix in 2004 and founded his own company called Smile Please, as well as the music production company Dog Ear Records. He has since composed music as a freelancer for video games primarily developed by Square Enix and Sakaguchi's development studio Mistwalker.

A handful of soundtracks and arranged albums of Uematsu's game scores have been released. Pieces from his video game works have been performed in concerts worldwide, and numerous Final Fantasy concerts have also been held. He has worked with Grammy Award-winning conductor Arnie Roth on several of these concerts. In 2002, he formed a rock band with colleagues Kenichiro Fukui and Tsuyoshi Sekito called The Black Mages, in which Uematsu plays the keyboard. The band plays arranged rock versions of Uematsu's Final Fantasy compositions.

Yea, that's right. He formed his own rock band. Some have described it as a metal band. How awesome is that?

But enough chit-chat! I know what you're really here for...

The music!



Yes, yes, I know that I have my nifty new music player deal, but I really wanted you to see that yes, there are concerts for this music. Fancy concerts.

This song is "You're Not Alone!" (独りじゃない for you Japanese kids) from Final Fantasy IX, probably my favorite song from the game. Very moving, as it plays during the protagonist's only real mental breakdown. This orchestrated version, as you may have guessed, is my favorite arrangement. Gorgeous.

(Side Note- You watching that composer dude? He's really into the music. I totally dig that.)

The following is an orchestrated version of "Fisherman's Horizon" from Final Fantasy VIII, definitely my favorite song from that game. Don't ask me about the title, Uematsu just happened to compose amazingly beautiful music for a very fishy-sounding town. (Ah, ha, fishy-sounding. I kill myself.)



I'm not sure how I feel about the addition of a chorus... sometimes I really like it, and sometimes I think it's a little much. Regardless of the arrangement, however, this is another gorgeous song. (What's happening to my vocabulary today?) I tend to listen to it when I need calming down, and I remember spending way more time in Fisherman's Horizon during the game just to hear the music.



This is closer to how it sounded in the game. Admittedly, I'm not sure how good your speakers were, but regardless, it was a piano track. Still very lovely. (Why have I become some sort of ladies' magazine editorial piece? Good lord.)

And remember what I said about that rock band? Oh, yes.



This is The Black Mages' rendition of "Matoya's Cave" from Final Fantasy I. Again, I am picking softer tunes so as to better suit a wide range of my readers. Oh, I'm just so considerate it hurts.

Admittedly, as I heard this before I played the game, I was a little disappointed by what my tiny PSP speakers presented me with as I walked into Matoya's infamous lair. Because really. You can't beat The Black Mages.

And finally, just to even it out with a round... what, five? Oh. Well, that's not very even, but it's a good number nevertheless.



Again, you get the orchestral version, because it's more impressive, and never let it be said that I wasn't one for pomp and flash.

This is Final Fantasy X's main theme, "To Zanarkand." As Uematsu joint-composed this game, it's important that this is one of the songs he composed himself. And it's arguably the best. Yes, yes, 素敵だね (Suteki da ne) is good too, but he composed that as well, didn't he? So there. Uematsu tends to take a lot of flack for this soundtrack, but I honestly don't see the problem.

Well, I hope that you've come away from this, dear readers, with a different opinion of video game music in general. Admittedly, Uematsu is a very special case, but there are other talented composers out there, my friends!

And if you're not feeling quite that adventurous, you do have something like 10+ albums of Uematsu's work (original, remixed, and reshuffled!) that you can slog through first.

This is Edo, signing off while waving her arms enthusiastically, dreams of being an orchestral conductor reawakened.