One Paragraph Reviews: Waters (一段落レビュー：ウォーターズ)

And thus begins a new saga (which sounds much better than a series, really) in which Edo covers any number of films and dramas in the span of one paragraph (or two, I have to give myself some leeway here, lest the whole plan collapse in upon itself before its even begun). Think of it not as exchanging depth for breadth, but rather as an intriguing art form particularly suited to the blogging medium and our modern fast-paced culture, so focused on the here-and-now and all that instant gratuity nonsense.

Oh ho, I hear you cry, art form my hiney. What is this, but a simple ruse by which Edo may exert as little effort as possible in order to produce a wide and theoretically reader-enticing array of what will inevitably turn out to be nothing more than pure and utter drivel best crammed into some lost corner of cyberspace, or, indeed, never written at all, instead of brazenly placed upon this blog in front of the unwitting and entirely unsuspecting eye of the casual reader? Oh ho, a clever ruse sir, but I will not be taken in!

... I hear you cry. You should probably speak with someone about that nasty habit of run-on sentences you appear to be developing. Left unchecked, I hear such conditions can escalate quite rapidly.

In any case, you are, needlessly verbose or no, quite wrong. While this project is being undertaken in an attempt to cover a wider array of media than I have been able to up to the present time, it is also meant to be an exercise in succinct writing. After all, as brevity is the soul of wit, and tediousness the limbs and outward flourishes...

Come to think of it, grandiloquence does sort of get out on a loophole, doesn't it? Provided it isn't tedious, of course, and that's really all dependent on who you ask... or who you don't, in fact, and considering the fact that I, as a rule, don't ever ask anyone when t comes to the contents of this blog, it stands to reason that...

(Yes, yes, Edo, you've taken this joke far enough. Get on with it already.)


(...there's a reason I used one of Polonius's speeches to audition for Hamlet, you know.)


All cheap and over-extended jokes aside, this is, in actuality, a sort of exercise for myself. As many of you may (or may not have) noticed, I am often a bit too... verbose for my own good, and while I can produce works limited by quite short page or word counts, such productions require a great deal of editing on my part. Detailed length has always come easier to me than succinct fact.

Ergo, a challenge. Review things in a paragraph (or two, if I just can't help myself, plus a nice line of conclusion drawing it all together), combating my deeply ingrained tendency towards loquaciousness and yet at the same time covering all the most basic and fundamental points of that which is being discussed. From my perspective, anyway.

Look, it's a personal blog. If you want objective, pick up your geometry text book.

(... I'm not sure, and I pointedly avoided most topics which tend to be assumed objective by the unassuming public such as history and literature textbooks, but are any groundbreaking yet controversial advances being made in the field of radii and hypotenuses...?)


Thus, without further ado, here is today's review. (Except for this rhyme, for which we make time.)

ウォーターズ (Waters)

A movie that is, on the surface, nothing more than a comedy that forays into the life of a ragtag bunch of men (ranging from young to... well, less young) who wind up forced into the hosting business, for one reason or another. Oh, if only. Our leading men are all led to one particular host club, which requires a start-up investment from its employees due to its current state of dilapidation. While all the characters theoretically have their own convoluted back-stories, the only ones the movie really cares about are those of Oguri Shun and his (potential) love interest because, well, they're the pretty ones. Twists in the story (confusing as it may be) are inevitable, and the movie rounds itself off with some casual misogyny involving the unfortunate implications underlying the characterization of women with money and power (because men in those same positions are absolute paragons of virtue).


In Conclusion: Don't bother, unless you really like Oguri Shun and aren't too hip with that whole "satisfying ending" idea.

This is Edo, signing off whilst realizing that she may have to ignore some textbook rules about paragraph construction in order to give this series any chance at success.

(Yes, yes, I know this is rather late... The funny thing is, I had it almost completely written on Monday, and it was just the actual posting that kept slipping my mind... Oh, well. Consider it a rather mildly cautionary tale against procrastination.)

Men on trains. (電車に乗る男。)

I really shouldn't start series like I did in that last post, because I know that I'll inevitably get bored with the idea long before its completion.

There's also the fact that this is not, contrary to popular belief, a BUCK-TICK fan blog, and I should try to remember that every now and again for the sake of my adoring audience.

Thus, we return, once again, to that old stand-by...

Movie Review!

... or, well, movie-summary-and-stream-of-consciousness-discussion, but that's about as close as you're ever going to get on this blog, quite frankly.

So what, I hear you cry, is the movie today?

電車男 (でんしゃおとこ, Train Man)


Let me preface this by saying that I really like this movie. I am thus biased, and therefore this will not, by any means, be a fair critique. If you want fancy-pants movie analysis where the thing is picked apart in a cinematic sense by an unbiased judge, you're reading the wrong blog.

If you want someone to briefly summarize and then discuss the possible (and probably idealistic) social ramifications, however, then Google has steered you right at last!

(This blog is not implying in any way shape or form that Google is an inferior search engine--quite the opposite, in fact--but merely trying for a cheap laugh. Please, oh hosting corporation of my blog, forgive me.)

電車男 was a manga, then a television drama, and finally, a movie. While I have not read the manga, I have seen a portion the drama, but my opinion was unfortunately colored by having seen the movie first--it's hard to sit through eleven episodes of something when you've just seen it all condensed into two hours.

Which is not to say that I will not, again, attempt to finish each and every episode. Someday.

BUT, that's not what we're here to discuss.

This movie is cute, makes you feel good, and generally leaves viewers with a positive outlook on life. Being the shallow cheerful type that I am, I tend to prefer movies that don't make me miserable all day, or indeed leave me sobbing uncontrollably through the last twenty minutes (I'm looking at you, Finding Neverland.) This is why I have yet to watch おくりびと (Okuribito, Departures) despite it apparently being an absolutely fantastic movie.

But I digress. Again. Hey, it's what I do.

We begin by meeting our protagonist. He is an otaku in Tokyo who works as some sort of tech support, spends a great deal of time on internet message boards, and crawls Akihabara on a regular basis for anime, manga and video game memorabilia, like you do. Keep that middle bit in mind, it's the entire plot of this movie, kids.

But again, I must digress, because this. Is. Important.


There is currently a rash (yes, a rash) of young people in the US proudly calling themselves "otaku" because of their love for anime and manga and/or what they presume to be the entirety of Japanese pop culture.

Stop. It. Right now.

I don't care what Wikipedia tells you about loan words and all the other nonsense. Being an otaku is not a good thing, nor is it a way of life you should aspire towards. Being an otaku is not the back-bone of Heisei Japan. Being an otaku is CERTAINLY not something that'll score you a ton of points in Heisei Japanese society.

Being an otaku is a bad thing. At least in most social circles. Otaku is thrown around as an insult, as it generally means that the person in question is obsessed to the point of exclusion. Obsessed, and not in the middle-school "oh, I am OBSESSED with the Backstreet Boys!*" obsessed either. Normal, everyday activities are sacrificed for the sake of the obsession. Social relationships suffer. Hygiene tends to suffer, as does proper nutrition. The obsession very nearly takes over their lives. It is not a good thing.

*I refuse to move with the times. 

Admittedly, I partially blame questionable tourism promotion tactics for helping this idea along, but Japan is not the land of otaku. Yes, it's where the word and, arguably, one form of the lifestyle originated, but that's like saying that everyone in the US is a redneck due to the existence of a certain population that, frankly, we'd rather hide from the international sphere in the metaphorical national broom closet. You are taking a small, actually quite unpopular population and generalizing it to an entire country. Worse, you're appropriating its terminology without fully understanding the connotations or consequences therein.

Simply liking anime and/or manga does not make you an otaku. It just means that you like anime and/or manga, and that's fine. I cannot emphasize these things enough.

Simply put: 99 times out of 100, you, kid, are not an otaku. If you were, you wouldn't want to brag about it. You're quite possibly a weeaboo, but that's not something to be proud of. Take a Japanese culture class, punk.

...anger issues much, Edo?

Back to the topic at hand.

Now. Our protagonist is seemingly content with his run-of-the-mill otaku life. One day, he goes shopping in Akihabara, like you do, and has a good time of it. Of course, he is embarrassed to be seen as or thought of as an otaku (hint hint, weeaboos) once outside of his safe and contained social sphere (welcome to Akiba, kids), but such is life. He hides his purchases in a backpack, and generally tries to be inconspicuous. He gets some flack on the train from a randomly rude Tokyo couple when his merchandise falls out of his bag (seriously, do these people just hide until the foreigner leaves? Who says stuff like that? Bet it never happens in Osaka, guys), but is generally unscathed and puts on his handy dandy mp3 player for the ride home.

Until... Belligerent Drunken Salary Man (tm) Attacks!

(I never saw this either, though I find it much easier to believe as I have smelled it.)

As being drunk and disorderly in Japan is commonplace and generally excusable because "well, he had been drinking, he couldn't help it" (no, seriously), it is not surprising when a belligerent drunken salary man (now BDSM... ha, ha, what would Freud say) gets on the train. Oh, bother, thinks our hero, an turns up the volume on his music. BDSM hassles a few chatty middle aged ladies for being (of all things) too loud, then basically continues around the train car, looking for a fight. Up with the music, down with the gaze, oh brave hero.

Don't worry, it gets better.

Unfortunately, BDSM makes his way down to this attractive young lady that our hero has been forlornly eyeing since she boarded the train at his stop. She's trying to read her book, but we know that BDSM won't be having any of that, no siree bob.

Before things can get too hairy with the attractive young lady (AYL), our hero stands valiantly, stuttering in defiance at the belligerent and actually quite intimidating BDSM. BDSM, as you may have guessed, is not a fan of such a ballsy attack on his belligerent and drunken actions, and proceeds to get right in our hero's face. This does, however, succeed in saving AYL from his very, very dubious intentions. We proudly cheer our hero on and hope to Buddha he doesn't get his teeth knocked in and his glasses snapped in half.

Luckily, the train pulls up to the next stop before things get horribly ugly, and policemen race on board to apprehend our BDSM, having been phoned earlier by the poor middle aged ladies. The train is saved, and our hero actually is a hero! Huzzah!

After making their report to the police, both middle aged ladies promptly ask for our hero's contact information, as they want to send him thank-you gifts. (Though I have never seen the custom applied in quite this situation, this would be a very reasonable action in Japan--gift-giving is quite commonplace, whether visiting a person's house for the first time or coming back from vacation. Gifts to the hero of the train? Sounds good.) As he awkwardly stumbles through writing down the information (and who doesn't love an awkward protagonist?) he is shocked and amazed when AYL also asks for his information. In movie-land, we all know: something good is going to happen here.

The story then follows our protagonist's misadventures as he attempts to woo the attractive young lady from the train after he obtains her contact information from the label on the thank-you gift she sends via post. What makes it a good movie, however, is the fact that he bases his approach and actions almost entirely upon the advice of the people on the internet message board he created upon having the confrontation with the belligerent Drunken Salary Man.

(Just so you know, I'm not being that horrible a blogger here by repeatedly not using the hero's name--it's actually pointedly not made a big deal of in the movie, and he is mostly referred to as "電車男." AYL herself is referred to as Hermes after she gives our hero the gift of some fine Hermes-brand crockery, which our hero amusingly has no clue about before his internet friends tell him.)

The interactions online are, of course, in my opinion, the best part of the film, and what make it truly remarkable. We are introduced to a whole slice of society that finds refuge in social interaction online, all for their own reasons and all with their own (in some cases, quite considerable) baggage. We have a broken-hearted and possibly abused nurse, a hikkikomori (or shut-in, a young person who refuses to leave his room even to attend school or even interact with his family...which is a disturbingly common problem in Japan at present), three societal rejects who spend their time in internet cafes, a business man, and a housewife. This is, I admit, where the drama is stronger, as it is able to showcase a much larger variety of "internet people" (being a longer medium, time-wise), but the selection in the movie is still pretty damn good.

While the movie does tend to gloss over some societal problems by having their solutions come a bit too quickly (again, I can be a little forgiving due to time constraints and the general saccharine nature of this sort of movie), it does an excellent job of illustrating a number of reasons why people would find themselves retreating into someone else's life, and through an online message board at that. The movie touches on depression, loveless marriages, (possibly) the recent trend of poor young people basically living in internet cafes (the things you learn in depressing higher level Japanese courses, I tell ya), and of course the shut-in problem, and that's just all I can think of off the top of my head. It humanizes people and problems that tend to be marginalized or even ignored by the larger society, and thus brings the real people in these situations into positions where maybe, just maybe they feel comfortable confiding in someone, anyone, about their situation and what they can possibly do to adjust towards a better life.

... you know, sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't have gone into anthropology after all.

...but then I remember the forms you have to fill out to support these kinds of hypotheses with interviews, and how often my personal philosophy tends more towards the misanthropic...

....and I snap out of it again.

Anyway.

I recommend this movie for just about everyone, especially those who want to know a bit more about the underbelly of Japanese society yet stay out of the realm of crime. It's also good for those who mistakenly believe that Japan is populated entirely by anime and manga nuts--while it shows that side of the culture, it also demonstrates just how on the fringe it is to be that deeply focused on... well, anything, really, but that's another post.

Also good for those of you interested in Japanese-language internet speak/common typos and abbreviations--I thought that those little bits of detail were incredibly interesting, linguistic geek that I am. That, of course, is also the reason why I sometimes need to turn on the subtitles--quick-fire chat-room style speak/text is a bit difficult to keep up with. All in the name of a good challenge!

And hey, this one's actually on Netflix, so you really have no excuse.

...I know that by now that some of you must be insisting that I prefer the movie to the drama because in the movie, our hero is actually quite attractive once he cleans himself up a bit whereas in the drama... not so much. Well sir, I say to you...

You have a point. But still, the fact that I saw the movie first is still probably the biggest reason--I'm usually the most heavily influenced by the medium I first come into contact with.

Watch the movie, kids; it's good, amusing, touching, and surprisingly socially conscious.

This is Edo, signing off with the strangest urge to attack the drama once again... and the realization that she should probably be a bit nicer. But then again, there was that whole disclaimer about misanthropy, so...

How about a little democracy? (民主主義ためしてみない？)

I promise that, eventually, I will stop making posts about BUCK-TICK. Exclusively, that is. Asking me to stop entirely would be like asking Haruo Shirane to give up pre and early modern Japanese literature.

... it's not going to happen.

Ahem.

Anyway, in celebration of ditching their old label (or being ditched, and making the best of it... take what news and interpretation you will), BUCK-TICK is releasing a compilation set--two albums, one for 87-99, and the other for 00-10. Considering they've been putting out music since at a rate of roughly one album per year (... ok, give or take), they have a lot of material to choose from.

HOWEVER. Being the trend-setting, hip and groovy band that they are, they've decided that they are not fit to decide on the final line up.

No, they leave that...

To us, the dear, beloved slathering fans.

Oh, democracy.

http://buck-tick.com/25th/special/ranking.html

Go, vote, be merry. One song per album per 24-hour period, mind you, but the sentiment holds.

I do feel like somebody's been abusing the vote, though... rigging IP addresses, hiring friends, hacking websites... I'm not sure, but I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm going to have to work hard to get some of my choices on the list.

... What better way than to recruit a blog audience?

... Ok, you're right, it would help if I had a blog audience. Every little bit helps.

So, unless you have some choices of your own (which I would by no means try to talk you out of... unless you're one of those people voting for both versions of ICONOCLASM... I mean, come on, the TABOO version is clearly superior, and, quite frankly, all the ICONOCLASM we need on one compilation album), why not click a few in my corner? I'll even link every title to the song itself, so you can judge for yourself! What a responsible campaign manager I am.

To vote, click on the big button with 投票ページへ (To the Voting Page) written on it, then click the 楽曲をみる (View the Songs) button below the album you want to vote on. Select your song, click 投票する (Vote), then enter your nickname, gender (男性 is guy, 女性 is girl), age (SHOULD be self explanatory) and prefecture. I use 京都府 (Kyoto), of course, but feel free to choose wherever you prefer. Then just click 送信する (Transmit) and you're done! Be sure to click the bottom button (ランキングページへ戻る, Return to the Ranking Page) if you want to vote for another song.

... and I just realized what a massively long undertaking this will be, and thus have deigned to split this post up, following BUCK-TICK's example. But, uh, maybe into more than two sections. Because... wow.

Anyway, starting from the beginning...

SEXUAL XXXX!, 1987 (The Hair Spring!)

You know, since they're using the 1990 version of HURRY UP MODE.

I'm all for either HYPER LOVE or DO THE "I LOVE YOU." Both have good versions on NOT GREATEST HITS, true, but none of them seem to be making the list so far... so.... yea. SISSY BOY is a close third, and ILLUSION squeezes in at fourth.

Next!

SEVENTH HEAVEN, 1988 (Ego, Atsushi, ego.)

I'm going either CAPSULE TEARS -PLASTIC SYNDROME III- or Oriental Love Story on this one. "But Edo!" I hear you cry, "what about VICTIMS OF LOVE?" Yes, well. I adore the song, but not this version. Number one is the live version from RAZZLE DAZZLE, number two is the NOT GREATEST HITS version, and this one is only third by default. I'd rather encourage their progress, thank you.

Continuing on.

TABOO, 1989 (It's definitely an 80's album.)

ICONOCLASM. Full stop. Is there any other choice, really? I admit, it's difficult to see if you haven't been involved in a live performance, but... just trust me on this one.
(And yes, I know, SEX FOR YOU does make me giggle... but... ICONOCLASM. Come on.)

Moving right along.

悪の華 (Evil Blossom), 1990 (The accordion is not actually integral to the plot.)


Originally, I was all for LOVE ME... but, well, NATIONAL MEDIA BOYS is a classic, albeit heavily hyped. I do prefer the live version of LOVE ME from the memento mori tour... but then again this version is superior to the NOT GREATEST HITS version... urgh, decisions.
Well, NATIONAL MEDIA BOYS is already at the top for this half of the compilation, so it doesn't really need our support.

I think one more ought to do it for this post...

HURRY UP MODE (1990 MIX), 1990 (...meh.)


I... have no strong feelings about any song on this album. Probably my least favorite of all their stuff, honestly. What can you do.

... I can't end on that note.

狂った太陽 (Mad Sun), 1991 (B-T's first dabblings in cyberpunk. Also: The Woman Phase continues strong!)


Aaah, there we go. That's some good stuff. Now, since we can't vote for MAD (for good reason, I suppose, given all the hype and air time it gets... but still), I'm all for 太陽ニ殺サレタ (Killed by the Sun). Don't ask me about the gratuitous katakana, I couldn't tell you.

And that's all for today's edition of Gratuitous BUCK-TICK Promotion with Edo, be sure to tune in next time when we discuss passion, betrayal and hopelessness!

This is Edo, signing off with more votes to cast.

Just a little somethin'. (ちっちゃいもんだけなんや。)

I know, I know, I'm a horrible blogger. My only excuse is grad school apps, and really, that's not a great excuse when you think about it. I am, after all, half-way done as of about twenty minutes ago.

(Hooray!)

I will try for some regularity after I'm done with all this hooplah, I promise--I have one or two ideas swimming around in my head, and I'm sure I'll get the gumption to write them up eventually. If only you lot shared my passion for academic studies incorporating gender and Japanese popular culture, then I could share with you the brilliant dissertation topic I came up with last night...

BUT. Since I'm not sure how many seedy academics troll the interwebs in search of brilliant dissertation ideas, I won't. I'm keeping this baby all to myself until at least two professors have seen it.

... I wonder if paranoia is common among those involved in research. Probably.

Anyway.

BUCK-TICK is currently doing some pretty snazzy things, including a new single, a new album, and, yes, that's right, a whole new label. Now all you indie kids can listen to some decent music without feeling guilty about selling out to the man! (Also, wash your hair. Geez.) You can head on over to their website to check it out, or, as always, The Blog-Tick Phenomenon.

Personally, I think you should head over to their official site for a second even if you can't read Japanese, just to experience Atsushi in his shiny cape. It is shiny. On top of his vaguely vampiric hair-style and what appears to be a blue, crushed velvet suit... well. You have to see it now, don't you? Also, Imai has some lovely dandy-esque hair at the moment that I am enjoying thoroughly.

Look, just go, all right? I can't save the image and post it here for you, otherwise you know I would. Go. Go now. It'll take you five seconds. Come on.

How about some mood music for incentive?

I'll even keep it to songs that my dear old grandmother might enjoy.



ミウ(Miu) is definitely underrated. Melodic, haunting, and just all around beautiful.

The video, however... it makes no sense. It does have the haunting bit down, and I admit that anything which focuses on Atsushi's face for such extended periods does certainly qualify for "beautiful"... but still. I love it anyway, sense be damned. Cowboys, body parts, and a reprise of the asylum theme from BRAN-NEW LOVER with some sort of mummy get-up? I'm sure there's some deep, deep imagery going on here, but I'm equally sure that anyone who tried to explain it to me would sound completely off their nut.

Also, Imai is terrifying. Terrifying. He is a genius, yes, and I adore him and all the strange sounds he makes, but good god. Toll's a little scary too. It helps that the last time I heard him interviewed, he sounded like such a stereotypical old Japanese man that I couldn't help but laugh. Imai still sounds like Imai.

... speaking of BRAN-NEW LOVER...



Yes, yes, I know I posted this before, but it's one of my favorite songs, and the video is basically a crazy cyberpunk romp, and that is just awesome.

Also, Atsushi writing in a straight jacket. You don't have to be a slobbering fangirl to appreciate that.

.... the less said about the tentacles, however, the better.

And speaking of underrated songs...



I love 蜉蝣ーかげろうー (Kagerou, Mayfly) as much as the next guy, but I really think it's the single's second track that stands out. You want beautiful and melodic, here's your number right here.

It's an interesting bug theme that they went with... 蜉蝣 meaning mayfly or dragonfly and 空蝉 (Utsusemi) being, loosely, a discarded cicada shell. Of course, Utsusemi is also a character from The Tale of Genji, not to mention a metaphor for this world (as opposed to different Buddhist planes, usually) or a person living in it... And, ok, so, technically, 蜉蝣 can mean ephemerality, which I buy and therefore gives us a Buddhist theme, but my sources insist that reading it as "kagerou" removes that meaning, making it... well, honestly, I suppose that doesn't mean anything when we're talking about V-kei lyrics, if Dir en grey has taught me anything, but I do prefer to be neat, and... oh, forget it.

Really, 空蝉 is just a snazzy kinda song.

Admittedly, I don't belt out the lyrics when it comes on in the car like I do with 蜉蝣, but still.

And... uh... speaking of things you... belt out in various locations... (bear with me here)



Ah, this was the first tour I ever attended. How young and naive I was... and yet excited and appreciative as hell. Especially about the pimp hat and cane (not pictured here, unfortunately).

Admittedly, this is off of the DVD (which I own, but was not at the filming of), so I didn't actually get to see Atsushi's evil-twin-pirate goatee in person...  He did fall off a speaker, though, which was on the one hand very concerning and on the other, hilarious (after, of course, he joked about it, slapped his "bad" leg and showed no ill effects.) Never step on triangular speakers, kids.

Regardless. This is, in my humble opinion (hah), the best arrangement for this song. The original and the NOT GREATEST HITS versions can't even compare in terms of energy and the ability to cheer you the hell up.

Also, the Imai-kick (tm) and Imai-dance (tm) routine is a great workout. Try it, just for the duration of this song, and only when he does it. You'll be panting, I promise. And you wondered how he stays in such good shape.

He does that the whole time. Every show.

... ok, not the whole time, but still, enough so that it's goddamn impressive.

I kinda think he cut the hair so it wouldn't weigh him down anymore.

... BUCK-TICK is awesome.

This is Edo, signing off with a very pointed look at every one of you who did not, after all that, click the link. Come on.

A Serious Interlude: On Leaving Japan. (真剣な合間: 日本から帰国について。)

Every now and again, perhaps after seeing a facebook post from a friend living overseas or when remembering a particularly good cup of milk tea, I find that my chest tightens a little over the loss of a life in Japan.

And then I begin to wonder--did I make the right choice, giving up my visa and returning to the land of my birth, especially when I, like so many of my friends, have a difficult time remembering anything but the positive from my ultimately temporary Japanese lifestyle?

Worse still, I return to wondering: am I a coward for boarding that plane at KIX (albeit with a distinct feeling of melancholy, and perhaps even a few tears blurring my vision--this time not for a boyfriend, but for a beloved country, culture, and best friend that I was leaving behind for an indeterminate period of time) instead of sticking it out, as have so many of my friends  with (apparently) nothing but happy results?

Though it is sometimes difficult to come to terms with, especially when I am feeling nostalgic and Japan-sick, the answers to these questions, for me at least, are yes and no, respectively. Mentally, I have come to grips with the fact that Japan, at least long term Japan, is not for me.

I'm actually quite a sensitive person (in the easily offended way, not the touchy-feely way; I mean, come on, blech), despite my common declarations  to the contrary and insistence otherwise, and I take social isolation quite hard when it's forced upon me. Self-induced isolation is another story entirely, as it often is with those of us who fall into the "introverted loner" box so commonly prescribed for us. Being apart from people at your own choosing is one thing--you are in control, and can decide when and where you will end your isolation and refill your social interaction quota. Humans are, after all, social animals, no matter what those novels about lone wolf types say. Sure, those on the fringe with no need for outside human contact exist--hermits are a reality, after all--but they're certainly not in the majority. It would make for very crowded forests, after all.

What I mean to say in my long, drawn-out and rambling way is that, unlike many friends and acquaintances who have better capacities  than I for not taking things too personally, I find it difficult, after long periods of time, to not get angry or upset when greeted by the common reactions to a foreigner and general xenophobic attitude which Japan still finds it necessary to cling. People staring as though I'm some sort of giant, hairy beast (which, I suppose, from certain points of view, I am) at every turn gets old; refusal to trust in my linguistic and cultural knowledge because I am so clearly foreign grates on my psyche. Failure to be recognized as a fellow human being capable of, say, a nice dinner or night on the town due to my failure to conform to local beauty standards (again, the giant hairy beast thing comes into play) eats away at my self-confidence until, eventually, I believe that everyone else has the right of it and I am some sort of repulsive sub-human creature that is best avoided.

Now, like I said, a lot of people learn (or know intuitively, I suppose) how not to take things so personally. A lot of people can laugh things off, and I respect them for it as it belies a deep and profound sense of inner security that I, unfortunately, still lack outside of my intellectual pursuits (and even there, sometimes, I falter.) A lot of people, therefore,  live in Japan long-term, even indefinitely--they don't get my severe pangs of homesickness and self-loathing brought on by life as a foreigner in Japan. Even if they do, they are short-lived and manageable.

I am not aiming to garner sympathy here, though I understand that it may seem that way. To the contrary, I am hoping to demonstrate my own empathy, to anyone in a position similar to mine. As wide as the internet is, I cannot help but feel that there are a number of you out there who, like me, find themselves rapidly leaving the "honeymoon phase" with Japan, despite having sworn to live there forever. I also know that, like me, some of you probably are having doubts, and wondering what it means about you, personally, that you are suddenly having such an intellectual and emotional reversal about something so major in your life.

What it means is that you've grown. This does not mean that growth necessarily leads homeward--for many it is exactly the opposite, and even in our case, returning to one's native soil is not equivalent to running home, despite what some people may tell you. It means that you have, in the general human way, absorbed a number of experiences and, surprise surprise, changed your mind based on those experiences and what they mean to you personally. Some people grow towards Japan, some people grow away. Some people grow towards Azerbaijan, I'm sure, and all of that is perfectly acceptable. None of these paths are inherently better than any other--you are not failing for returning to your home country, nor indeed are your friends or colleagues necessarily succeeding by staying in Japan. Both you and they are doing what feels right at that particular time, and what's "right" differs from time to time, person to person, situation to situation. Think about it: would you want what you thought was "right" at, say, sixteen? I certainly wouldn't--I was pretty stupid back then. But then again, I was pretty stupid at eighteen, nineteen, twenty... Honestly? Sometimes, I think one of the best things to do is to aim everyday to be a little less stupid than you were the day before. But that's a post for another day, when you're not already sick of my cheap philosophizing on some other subject.

If you feel that leaving Japan is right for you, don't worry about what others think (though I suppose that rather invalidates this entire post.) Don't worry about not meeting expectations, or not measuring up--anyone who cares about you will support you no matter where you live, and they'll want to see you happy above all else. Ignore anyone who gives you a hard time, or questions your reasons for leaving (outside of a constructive discussion which you may have instigated to help sort out your thoughts, of course). Unfortunately, the world is full of insecure people who feel the need to belittle those around them, using any and all ammunition they find. The people who scoff at or mock your decision, or indeed you for making it, are not worth your time.

My hope is that this post helps at least one person--that at least one person can avoid the internal turmoil that I suffered (and occasionally still do) regarding my decision to leave Japan, knowing that someone, somewhere, supports and backs their own decision wholeheartedly. I suppose it may seem like we must be few and far between, but I can't help but feel there must be one person out there going through what I did.

I feel like those of us foreigners who live in Japan for any significant length of time share some sort of understanding--tenuous as it may be in some cases--and have, to an extent, developed our own very specialized subculture. With that subculture, of course, comes pressures. Outside expectations weigh down upon us from all sides, and a lot of us constantly troll the internet for personal advice regarding our difficult situations, and then support for decisions that may go against the cultural norm. The subculture itself is divided, encompassing those who understand, those who are ambivalent, and those who absolutely oppose our decisions, no matter what they may be. In some ways it is a cutthroat subculture, like so many are, and often not the kindest to be a part of.

So, know that someone supports you, no matter what you decide in regards to your Japan-life. Whether your decide to stay or leave, pursue a job as an English teacher, translator or hostess, know that someone thinks that you need to do what makes you happy.

As a final note, I want to point out that I still love Japan. I don't regret any of my time there, as a student or otherwise--not a day of it. While I may have gone through some, for me, rough times, and tangled with bouts of depression, I've also had some of the greatest times of my life in Japan, and I will always remember them. I also know that, had I not returned to Japan after graduation, and instead remained in the US from the get-go, I would have always been discontent, wondering whether or not I had made the right choice. Furthermore, Japan and I are not finished--not by a long shot. I am planning on pursuing my PhD in Japanese literature, and spending a number of years research and perhaps teaching in Japan on my path to becoming a professor.

What I mean to say is, just because you're leaving Japan now, it doesn't mean that you can never go back. It doesn't mean that your career won't in fact stick you right back on that plane in a number of years, and possibly even on a funded ticket to boot. If you love Japan, don't worry too much about leaving now. They won't be able to keep you away, and you'll feel much better about it in general once some of the anger/hurt/depression/whatever has melted away.

So, here's to you, kid--whether you're staying or going, as long as it makes you happy? You're making the right choice. As a number of very intelligent people have said to me: nothing is permanent, and you can change your mind later. Be happy, and don't worry so much.

This is Edo, signing off, still a little wistful but ultimately happier and better off for it.

Wait just a minute. (ちょっと待ってよ。)

WARNING: This post is... well, pretty much entirely composed of things that only interest, say, maybe 20% of my audience.

And that's only provided that I'm actually attracting the people I think I am. Who knows how big a grain of salt that needs.

Oh, and it also demonstrates just how whiny, entitled, selfish, and horribly self-important I can be when pushed.

(But doesn't maintaining a personal blog and expecting people to read it, in general, do all of that regardless...?)

Anyway, consider yourself sufficiently warned.

Ahem.

I had planned to make my first post this week about the amazing Takarazuka (宝塚) performance I saw yesterday... but now, now that has to wait.

Because of what I consider to be sheer and utter... foolishness.

Honestly, you leave your favorite band alone for a few months, just a few months...

And then this happens.

Oh, you know what I'm talking about.

This. This nonsense right here.

Long, short, blonde, black, magenta, I don't care.

But shaving it off and then dressing yourself as a B-boy, complete with ridiculous fluffy jacket and pants that don't seem to fulfill that whole bum-covering requirement? 

What, has it suddenly dawned upon you that your life simply will not be complete until you become the fiftieth member of EXILE?

Somehow, I doubt they'll appreciate your skills, sweetheart. I just can't picture your vocals quite fitting into their line-up. Also, they probably can't read your kanji.

This new single you're releasing today (which, might I add, is the first in over a year) better be some seriously amazing music. I expect myself to think, "good lord, all that hair was holding him back all these years! Clearly, now that he has streamlined his head for maximum vocal capacity, I can truly appreciate his talents!"

But really. You already had talent, creativity, more emotion than fifty other rock-stars combined into one (even if half of them were engaging in some sort of substance abuse at the time their powers combined) and a truly incredible range that could go from heart-wrenching to gut-wrenching in two seconds flat. 

What more can you want, really?

With this new look, the first idea that comes to mind, honestly, is "coordinated dancing ability."

Come on, guys. You were my favorites. I stood in line, in February, for 27 hours for you. Don't give it up to BUCK-TICK so easily.  

Heck, lately, even these young whipper-snappers are giving you a run for your money. 

And he smiled during their live. And flirted. 

(This one is for my two devoted readers who have softer tastes than I do. And, you know, whoever else'd like to take a listen. See what a good blogger I am?)

Ahem.

Er.

Yes.

I promise I'll get back to my non-fan-bitching regularly scheduled blog content in the next post.

But. You know.

Sometimes, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

Even if it's just expressing how shocked and appalled she is.

This is Edo, signing off waiting for that single and expecting gold, baby.

EDIT- Ok, ok. I admit.

I got my gold.


Muzicons.com

Not to mention the fact that the two non-new songs are sufficiently remixed to satisfy my cravings for as-of-yet unheard Dir.

Consider my faith restored.

But I'm going to pretend that you had long blonde hair while singing it, 京. It'll be easier on both of us that way.

... oh, and guys? Cut back on the smoking, eh? You're starting to look older than BUCK-TICK, and they've got 10+ years on you, most of it actively touring.

Once a week is good enough. (一週間一回ってええんちゃう。)

... though apparently not, according to my grandma.

But we don't have to let her know that I agree.

.... oops.

Anyway, as I have not been in much of a writing mood lately, I thought that I would attempt a new style of post: pictures from Edo's everyday life, with witty commentary accompaniment. How does that strike you?

... well, honestly, it can strike you up, down, and all around, but it's still how we're going today.

Ahem.

First, remember how I was taking that test... you know, the ridiculously difficult, kill-your-brain-with-kanji JLPT NI thingy-jobby?

Yea. That was Sunday.

And yea. It was painful.

Luckily, I was able to stay cheerful about the whole thing, and was laughing my way through the listening exam--as always, much easier than the rest (at least for a person, such as myself, who spends so much time working on listening comprehension) and full of hilarious non-sequitirs that had me snorting quietly in the back row. 

... well, I thought they were hilarious, anyway. As far as I can tell, I was the only one stifling my laughter, so maybe I just have a very odd sense of humor.

Anyway. That's not the interesting part.

The interesting part is that the 皇學館大学 (Kougakkan University) campus where I took it was absolutely gorgeous. 

I guess that's what happens when you're located in Ise, literally minutes away from 伊勢神宮 (Ise Shrine). No shoddy, prison-looking buildings there my friend!

And check out the crazy, Miyazaki-esque entrance path. How awesome would it be to walk though this to class every day? I mean, come on.

Ise is just pretty awesome in general. This is the street leading up to the university entrance. Admittedly, taking the picture during 紅葉 (kouyou, fall foliage) season does up the beauty a few notches, but any sidewalk that is paved with brick deserves some notice.

Not to mention the super awesome street-lamp-things.

You have no idea how hard it was to get this shot without the top of a car blurred along the bottom edge. I stood in the cold for you, people!

But anyway.

After I was released finished with the test, I went to Kyoto, as is my wont.

And this is the cute little light-up you can see from the platform at 大和八木 (Yamato Yagi) station in Nara. I thought it deserved a picture.

Certainly a nice surprise to be caught by, since I had about thirty minutes to kill until my next train.

And, tangentially enough, this is an interior shot of the super awesome American restaurant, Ash Fork, in Kyoto, around 百万遍 (hyakumanben). Definitely recommended, and not only because they named the place after a small town in Arizona (it's written up there on the sign, if you can see) and have a crap-ton of random memorabilia scattered around as their decorating scheme. Best hamburger in Japan, bar none.

Enough with the travels, let's get back to the boring, every day stuff!

... don't get too excited now.

This, my friends, is a 250 yen bento from Cosmos.

WHAT IS THIS MAGIC.

And I thought I loved that supermarket before. Holy crap.

Delicious, cheap, and I am still full to bursting as I write this. (Admittedly, those of you who do not think the addition of a soft-boiled/fried egg is a plus might not agree with my love for this lunchtime option. But hey. Learn to love the egg, my friends, learn to love the egg.)

(That said, I had to trade in my kinpira gobo for some renkon to get the egg on top of my hamburger, but I think it was a good choice in the end.)

This is the bag I payed 5 yen for because I forgot my eco bag. But really, I think it was worth  it:

Some people may laugh at Engrish, but sometimes, I find it absolutely adorable.

And finally, just to make everything a bit more random...

My favorite gum.

I admit that I may be swayed by the fact that Kimutaku advertises for them. But hey, this gum freakin' clears your sinuses it's so strong--I can appreciate breath that fresh.

So, what did you think? Was the lack of editorial content made up for by the picture spam onslaught?

.... I think so.

Ahem.

This is Edo, signing off with a stomach full of meat which she may or may not regret later. Oops.

Nothing like a trip to the salon. (美容院に行くより、何もない。)

Well, you know what they say about how a new hair-cut can give you a major confidence boost?

I have now amended that saying.

Instead, it should be:

A trip to a Japanese salon can make your entire day amazing, spectacular, and downright stupendous.

Also, it can make you really giddily happy, even when you're technically lost in the wilderness of Mie with only a vague idea of where you should be going.

And to think I went into all this so nervous I was actually shaking in my seat.

So.

Woke up this morning (a little late, I admit) and got ready for my day. Had some coffee, washed my face, surfed the internet, you know the drill.

Left the house around 11:50 for my 12:00 appointment. Because, literally, the place is five minutes away, and I didn't want to be that annoying customer who gets there way too early and bothers everyone by sitting and staring awkwardly.

...however, when I ran into traffic on the way (what the hell, Matusaka), I began to worry about being that annoying customer who gets there late and throws everyone's schedule off all day long.

Luckily, I got there in time, as my propensity for being everywhere early won out--my extra five minutes turned out to be the perfect amount of time, traffic and all.

I walked in, wielding the picture of my haircut and getting nervous because I am something of a chicken. Was greeted, of course, by a solid round of いらっしゃいませ's and walked up to the counter to tell the man that I had an appointment. Of course, at twelve, he replied, and offered to take my bag.

Really, so far, the only one freaking out about me being a gaijin was, well, me.

Which was why when they gave me a name card to fill out with my address, I was shaking quite badly and couldn't remember the kanji for 町. (Yea, that's pretty bad.) Stupidly couldn't remember 松阪 either, although that's been happening consistently since I've arrived, so no big surprise. I did remember 三重県, 　外五曲 and the first half of 前沖, luckily, although the ultimate fail was when I couldn't remember my house number. When T-san, my stylist, asked what was wrong, I had to inform him of this, and he said that it was all right. I suppose I'll fix it next time.

Luckily, that did not injure my image in his eyes too badly.

How do I know this?

Because, as I mentioned, I had marked the "I want to have a good time with my stylist" (loosely translated) button on the reservation page, and goodness me, T-san believed me and launched right in, getting into this that and the other thing after we had discussed my desired style in great detail. (There was a bit of concern about the length; my hair was so long as to make him worry a little that I didn't know what I was getting into with the cut I wanted. I think he got over that when I told him I hadn't had a cut in about three months though.)

And the best part? It was not at all your typical gaijin-Japanese person talk. We had a surprisingly deep conversation, touching on topics such as foreigner politics in Japan, gun laws in America, and the acceptance of outsiders in our respective cultures (to name a few.) We even commented on how "deep" our conversation was getting; I told him to let me know if I started bothering him, but he insisted it was fine.

We had some light talk as well, mainly about how Japanese and American tastes are different, comparing Japanese and American women, and then, of course, getting into what we each thought about Japanese vs. American aesthetics.

There was also some commentary (positive) on my personal appearance, but I don't like to brag.

By the end, we had built up quite a camaraderie (though one or two of my jokes fell rather flat, as I really need to learn that English sarcasm just does not translate at all) and were calling each other by our nicknames (which we had both asked for early on.)

And honestly, it was so nice to be treated like a regular person with deep thoughts. (I mentioned that we talked about treatment of foreigners in Japan, right? I love talking about that, and I loved even more that he was willing to discuss it with me at length.) Admittedly, it might have been all that service-industry-kindness doing the work, but at the same time, he didn't have to be so chatty. It wasn't always me bringing up new points of conversation, after all.

Needless to say, I left completely and totally thrilled with the experience.

I especially like that T-san and the receptionist who handled my bill came out and watched until I left. This happens at bars too, but I don't know where else. Regardless, a very nice extra little touch that may be completely fabricated, but feels nice regardless.

Not to mention that now I have my point/members card, and will get 20% off next time I go. Ah ha HA.

...I need to figure out if it's within 6 weeks or after 6 weeks, though. Probably within.

Anyway, I decided to try and find a used clothes store shop on the way home that I had looked up earlier, and thus took a strange road home.

And got lost.

But hey, I was in a good mood, so I just kept driving and turning when I thought it might be appropriate, and eventually got back onto the road that takes me to work. I then drove into work, turned around, and went back to the supermarket which was supposed to be my landmark for the used clothing shop.

Then I missed my turn.

Good thing I was in such a good mood, eh?

I pulled into the supermarket, pulled back out and went back, making the turn I had meant to, and heading towards the "Advance Mall."

Which really isn't Advanced.

And although I never found the used clothing shop, I did find Honeys, which is one of the shops that has (a) clothes I like and (b) clothes that fit me more often than not.

So of course I wandered in.

And found a sale.

And after I picked up something like five items, a shop-keeper came over and offered me a basket.

And started chatting me up. (In a shop-keeper way, not a hitting on way.)

She asked how long I had been there, commented on how good my Japanese was, etc. etc. Eventually I got around to asking her where I could find a shirt I wanted that I had seen on the website, but could not find in the shop. After a lot of confusion about which shirt it was, she finally understood and ran off to get it for me. Unfortunately, they had neither my color or size, but she quickly offered to order it in from another shop, no charge and no problem if I didn't like it.

Win.

I tried on the clothes I had, and wound up liking three items, though I had limited myself to two. I took everything up to the counter, and asked for two of the items, and then if they thought that the third would be around in a month. Winning once again at shopkeeper awesomeness, they said they would hold the third shirt for me.

Yes.

So I walked out with a skirt and shirt, and a shirt (now discounted unexpectedly) on the way, along with a ridiculously good chat boosting my mood.

Not to mention the left-over happiness from my haircut and T-san.

So. What do I have to say about my one day off this weekend?

Absolutely. Positively. Massively. Well spent.

Oh, yes.

This is Edo, signing off quite happy with life and feeling much warmer in general towards Matsusaka as a whole.

Nothing better than naked time. (裸の時間は一番や。)

Whenever I find myself strapped for post topics, I delve back through the annals of memory, desperately searching for something that I did in Japan that is (a) not too personal to share with an audience of strangers and (b) interesting enough to keep said strangers entertained.

It's a tough line to walk, let me tell you.

And yet I suppose that it is the line that all we bloggers must face... at least, those of us who like to keep our internet and real-life identities a little bit separate. Call me paranoid, but hey.

Needless to say, it works best when I can think of something which I have experienced, yet is broad and general enough to speak about in entirely non-personal ways.

Thus, today's topic of 温泉 (onsen; hot springs.)

Actually, that's technically a 露天風呂 (rotenburo; outdoor bath), a sub-set of onsen, but hey. They're prettier to look at.

And yes, as you may have surmised by both the title of this post and the two gentlemen in the picture above, onsen involve naked time.

But that is no reason to withdraw in fear! Return to me, gentle Western readers!

Though I admit, I do sort of get where you're coming from. Admittedly, I got over it as soon as I dropped that pesky "teenager" classification, and was the better for it.

But before I get into exulting the benefits of public nudity, let's hear what JTB has to say on the subject, shall we? (As we all know I'm better at the snark than the thoughtful exposition pieces.)

As Japan is a country of volcanic activity, natural hot springs abound: there are said to be around 19,500 of them.

The custom of bathing in hot springs in Japan dates back over 2,000 years. Hotels and ryokan and other tourist accommodation have developed around most hot springs. Travelling to such resort areas is a favourite form of recreation among Japanese people. Although many large resort areas have developed around famous hot springs, there are still numerous springs along sea coasts and in the mountains that remain undeveloped, and in their natural state.

...hm. I guess they're not much better, really.

They also seem to think that the only locations worth mentioning are "near Tokyo," "Northern Japan" and Beppu (which they so tastefully define as "Western Japan"... pah.) The 関西人 (kansaijin; Kansai person) in me protests mightily, especially since Wakayama is renowned for its excellent onsen, two of which I have been to and been amazed by.

Dude. They were in a cave. On the ocean.

In a cave. On the ocean. I was there.

Really, guys. If you don't want to drop everything and go there right now, you're missing the whole point of this post.

You're naked. By the ocean. And then you're soaking in the hot, sulfury water. As the ocean smashes against the rocks in front of you.

Sweet Genji, I'm getting all worked up just remembering it.

Oh, the Hotel Urashima. The premises may look straight out of an 80s hotel flick, and you may have to take a ferry to get there, but oh my goodness are the onsen worth it.

Six of them, in fact, including the two in the caves. Our goal was to bathe in each and every one, but due to crowds and time constraints, we only got around to... oh, three or four, I believe.

Not to mention the fact that the men got the "Jungle Bath" on the weekend we were guests. Talk about unfair.

Though really, I think that may have been a misnomer, and we weren't really missing out on anything. It's Wakayama, not Okinawa. Come on.  

Anyway.

Like I was saying before. Onsen is a beautiful thing, not only because you get to soak in ridiculously hot water and emerge feeling as clean and as warm as you could ever hope to be (seriously; best way to warm up on a winter evening, especially if you have to walk back to your hostel half a mile away...), but because you get to be naked with other people, hopefully your close friends.

Why is that a beautiful thing, you ask, already covering your respective jiggly bits self-consciously?

Well, I'll tell you.

I could go into research about the human condition and how it's been proven that we're healthier when we can accept and deal with the naked human form, especially as separate from sex, and pull out study after study, textbook after textbook to prove my point...

But I think that, in this sort of setting, it's much better to work from personal experience.

With the knowledge of three extra years, I thoroughly regret being too prudish during my first trip to Japan to make use of the onsen during a program trip to Onuma National Park. At the time, I felt the way many Americans do now--embarrassed, nervous, and thoroughly uncomfortable about the idea of baring myself in front of friends, much less people I had never even seen before.

However, somewhere along the line, I wised up--I'm a little unsure as to exactly when my first time in an onsen was, so you can all rest assured that there was nothing at all mentally scarring about it. Needless to say, I can't be happier I did. Some of my fondest memories from my time studying abroad are from onsen (or, to a lesser extent, plain old 銭湯 [sentou; public bath/bath-house]), and I truly do think that my time in them helped me to bond with my lady friends.

What I'm trying to say, with all my rambling, is that it's good to be naked. It's good to see other naked people, and to realize that no one is perfect--to realize that anything about your body you may have thought of as odd, off, or even downright strange is, in fact, perfectly normal, and that people come in every conceivably shape and size. Americans (yes, I'm picking on us again) have a thing about nudity that simply makes no sense to me; our aversion to it and tendency to link it always to sex is ultimately on of our downfalls. We feel pressured to look like models in magazines, who are either airbrushed, photo shopped, or both, not to mention ultimately unhealthy in many ways. We are never exposed to normal people, and we never are given the chance to feel good about ourselves because of it.

Aside from that, being naked with friends is an excellent bonding experience. I'm not sure what it is, but there's something both liberating and comforting about being with people in the all-together. No embarrassment, no separation based on fashion and its implied wealth, and true companionship that can only be shared when you realize that "hey, we're all normal, and not a one of us is perfect."

Because absolutely no one is perfect, and the faster you realize that, the faster you can accept and truly appreciate yourself.

...and then you can always say "hey, I've seen you naked, you can tell me," or similar derivations thereof.

Sorry, the snark always sneaks in when I feel I'm getting a bit too serious.

In short: onsen are amazing, and truly one of the best parts of living in Japan, especially if you're only going to be there for a short time. Don't let the nudity throw you off, and you may come to find that you appreciate it just as much as I do.

In really short: go to an onsen. Quick as you can. I mean it.

This is Edo, signing off already making plans in her head for her first "welcome back" onsen trip...

It's for your own good! (君のためだよ！)

I feel the need to warn you ahead of time, dear readers: long, pointless, and possibly overwrought rant ahead. Steer clear if you're not in the mood for that sort of fare today. However, if you'd like some righteous (or simply vociferous) indignation with your breakfast (or lunch... or dinner, as the case may be), please, do read on.

Ahem.

Honestly. If I watch one more BL movie where a protagonist gets offed in an entirely unnecessary, utterly melodramatic fashion as some sort of "plot twist" that I saw coming a mile away (and spent the last half of the movie jadedly groaning over)... I'm going to give up on the genre entirely.

Oh. Er. Not only was that something of a run-on sentence, I just spoiled the whole thing, didn't I.

...Well, frankly, if I were you, I'd be happy for the warning. Positively thrilled, maybe even thankful. I mean really.

This movie made me feel sick inside. I had to watch an episode of Avatar to calm myself down enough to get to sleep, and even then it wasn't happening easily. (I would write about Avatar one day, as it is the best thing ever, but that would really be crossing cultural lines, now wouldn't it? Despite how the Fire Nation is clearly imperialist Japan, not to mention the deliciously researched pan-Asian influences... Aaand I've gone off on a tangent, haven't I.)

At least Boys Love just made me feel needlessly depressed (made all the worse for not seeing that twist coming, because foolish, naive me, I didn't know the formula back then) and, admittedly, somewhat ticked at the lack of medical realism. (Dying from a butter knife to the kidneys in the middle of modern, downtown Tokyo? Oh come now. If you're going to be that way, let's just go all out and say he was killed by a land shark.) It had closure, albeit strange and creepy closure, but gosh darnit, if I'm going to walk away from a movie miserable, I at least want to feel like I didn't waste the last hour and a half of my life waiting for an ending that never came.

But I suppose I should have known better, what with a title like:

禁断の恋 (Kindan no Koi, Prohibited Love)

Tag-line (roughly translated):  I met you, and I first knew love.

Yes, see, it lures you into a false sense of security with good PR. Mild, artistically simplistic cover art, cutesy tag-line, dainty pink writing, vaguely pretty boys.

LIES. ALL LIES.

Also, again with the lack of medical reality. But I'm getting ahead of myself now.

All right, just so everything's fair: if you don't want the entire movie spoiled, play-by-play, stop reading right now. Turn away, read another post, go to Wikipedia and read all about Avatar (or pretty much anything you can think of, for that matter), have some tea and crumpets.  But don't say I didn't warn you.

(And really, the spoiler above could be for any number of movies, so you can't really go whining at me for that.)

So we start out not knowing what the heck is going on (never a good thing in movies, I feel) with a scene involving a high-school student (later revealed to be Ryou, our younger protagonist's brother) wandering around his apartment, carrying flowers. He eventually goes into his brother's--Shou, demonstrating pure brilliance on the part of the parents--room, where he interrupts a very un-passionate love scene between Shou and some sketchy-looking 茶髪 (chapatsu; brown-haired) dude with glasses.

Don't disregard my descriptions, dear readers--I had this guy pegged from his first creepy stomach-nuzzle.

Shou kicks the sketchy-looking dude away when he sees his brother, and the sketchy-looking dude scrambles out, looking a little disappointed. You'd feel bad for him, but come on, he's sketchy-looking. Right away we know this guy is not to be sympathized with. Ryou, seeing nothing amiss with walking in on his brother about to shag another man, puts the flowers on his desk. There's some meaningful dialogue about them being red, and Ryou saying "you like red, don't you?" but really it's all a ruse.

Because this movie is stupid and has no point and therefore any and all foreshadowing is absolutely meaningless.

...hmm, maybe I shouldn't be reviewing this.

Cut to our other protagonist (Ritsu), who has just come back from a business trip/study abroad/thing in New York. He works for Shou and Ryou's (tell me that doesn't sound ridiculous) father as a shop-boy and hopeful designer, and of course is thrilled to acquiesce when boss-man says that he should live with his two sons for the time being, as Shou has dropped out of high school, locked himself up in the apartment complex and generally become some sort of anti-social sulk-pot who no one knows how to deal with.

Oh, and, surprise--Ritsu and Shou were lovers before he left for New York. You would have known that if you had read one of those internet summaries, you know.

After a flashback filled with awkwardness and bad acting that explains their former relationship (and how Ritsu made Shou promise to wait for him for the three years he would be in New York), we follow the mad whirlwind adventure (ooorrr not) of Ritsu attempting to get through to Shou and determine just exactly what bug crawled up his butt.

But not really. Because we actually spend most of the movie (all 71 minutes of it) watching Ritsu fail spectacularly at doing anything helpful, effective, or even intelligent. We only find out through Ryou that Shou quit high school due to being mercilessly bullied (explanations as to why are apparently for higher-budget films), even though he only had a semester left before he graduated.

During this time, we are lead to believe that (a) Ryou has a thing for Ritsu and thus is jealous of his brother, and (b) sketchy-dude (who also works for boss-man, what a twist!) truly is as sketchy, lecherous, and just plain yucky as we suspected him to be all along.

One of these two is correct.

What with all the sad, melodramatic music and lack of action, I knew this was going to end badly, and yet for some reason I held on to hope and kept watching...

Anyway. When Ritsu finally decides to confront Shou and figure out what, exactly, his problem is, Shou turns the tables and pins him to the ground, tries to rip off his clothes, and yells an angry something about Ritsu sleeping with his father. "Whaaat?" says Ritsu (and the entire audience). Shou gets up and digs through a file, eventually tossing down a photograph of Ritsu and his father lying naked in a bed. Smirking at the camera. More of the "whaaat?" reaction from Ritsu (do I even need to mention the audience?) To add insult to injury, Shou states bluntly that he's been sleeping with sketchy-looking dude.

And speak of the devil, SLD and Ryou are secretly watching this entire exchange on a television set in SLD's apartment. Those first-scene flowers (remember those?) hid a camera all along. Because that seems reasonable. Here is also where we find out that SLD is sleeping with Ryou as well.  

Let me pause to say: What the hell.

Shou runs to the roof to sulk, and Ritsu eventually confronts him--look, the photo is obviously a fake, because he doesn't have that birthmark on his chest. After some disbelief, Shou eventually buys that, no, his boyfriend was not cheating on him with his father, and a rather passion-less bit of love-scene ensues. Hooray, everything is fixed!

... or so we think.

After a short and fairly pointless date-scene between Ritsu and Shou (not to mention some expected bitchiness on the part of Ryou), it appears that all is back to normal between them. Hooray, three years of neglect and distrust totally erased in the span of fifteen minutes! Shou, however, ultimately ruins their bliss by being randy--Ritsu doesn't want to sleep with him with Ryou in the next room (who is of course listening to every word, the little scamp), so Shou says that he knows a place where the can be alone. Huzzah for empty apartments with convenient mattresses on the floor! (No, really, what?)

But you didn't think Ryou and SLD would just concede gracefully and drift off into the sunset, licking their wounds, did you? Oh, no no no. Next morning, they call in papa-boss-man to walk in on the empty-apartment-cum-love-nest. And oh yes, dear readers, the shit hits the fan.

Ritsu is evicted, Shou is pissed, and Ryou says something horribly hypocritical about Shou and Ritsu's relationship. At this point, the entire audience is facepalming. However,  hope still manages to survive as Shou manages to shout off the balcony at Ritsu, "wait at the park!"

(I'm probably getting a bit too detailed now, aren't I? Sorry about that; I just need you all to know why you shouldn't watch this movie. I can't risk some dubious reader feeling adventurous and heading off to watch this alone and unsupervised, then coming back to whine about the psychological aftermath.)

Cut to... who knows when, as Shou is still wearing the same clothes (but it seems to be a few hours later at least), and Ryou is bringing flowers again, this time white. (Oh, right--we learned earlier that it was Ritsu who liked red, and that Shou had always liked white best. Ryou was suitably shaken by not knowing this about his brother, and that's where we should have seen this all coming.) Ryou is happy that Shou is no longer mad at him (after a few hours? really?), but freaks out when Shou insists that he's going to go and see Ritsu and be with him, despite papa-boss-man's issues with it.

And then the shit hits the fan again.

(I really don't mean to swear this much, dear readers, it just appears that this movie brings out the very worst in me.)

Ryou throws himself at Shou, saying that (gasp) he loves him, and then we are treated to some incestuous sparring before Shou manages to throw his romantically confused sibling off, asking what the heck's wrong with him, they're brothers! Ryou says that he hates that (or just the terminology perhaps, I'm not sure), and tries once more, insisting that he'll never give his brother to anyone. A regular Casanova. But, huzzah! Shou both throws him off again and knocks over the flowers-- his chastity is saved and the camera is discovered! Oh, Ryou's in trouble now. Shou runs out of the room, heading for the door to the apartment and ultimately, Ritsu. Hooray, we think--this is going to end well after all! Good will triumph, and incest evil will surely be squashed underfoot!

But no. Somehow, spitting in the face of physics, reason, logic, and internal medicine, this ends horribly.

Like we didn't know from the beginning anyway. 

Somehow, Ryou gets outside the apartment first. Somehow, he kills Shou with what appears to be a book to the forehead. Somehow, this is a decent ending for the movie, as we we are left with a quick scene of Ritsu waiting endlessly in "the park", and then another of Ryou, giant grin on his face, carrying more and more white flowers up to Shou's room, where he is now laid out surrounded by them, presumably naked, cold and dead. The movie closes with Ryou (also presumably naked, though not so much dead) curled up around his corpse of a brother amongst the white flowers.

...

What. The. Hell.

No, I don't understand it, and I certainly don't condone it.

If you are an angst...enthusiast, by all means. Watch this movie. Revel in the pointlessness, the (not really) unexpected incest, the necrophiliac ending and, of course, SLD and his severely awkward motions that are meant to be sexy and lecherous.

But if not?

Avoid it like the plague.

Seriously. I cannot recommend avoiding this movie enough.

...UGH.

And, of course, the icing on the cake: not one of the "kissing" scenes in this movie is actually real. That's right, neither of these actors are mature enough to lock lips for the sake of a role--instead, each time we are "fooled" by camera angles and awkwardly tilted heads, lending as much warmth and compassion to the main relationship as a dead fish.

Just ruin everything, why don't you.

I need to go watch Ai no Kotodama again... or even Itsuka no Kimi e. Anything to effectively replace this in my "BL Movie" memory banks.

Of course, I say that, and then I go and post about it. Truly, my magnanimity knows no bounds: that I would go so far as to relive this film to warn the public against it! Know that my mental anguish was for you, dear readers, all for you!

This is Edo, signing off while wishing that online movie summaries were a bit more informative.

Mixing food cultures. (食文化を混ぜてる。)

Well, as per usual, I find myself sitting in front of my laptop with nary an idea in my stress-wracked brain, but unfortunately I don't foresee another brilliant flash of inspiration anywhere in my near future.

I really hate when this happens.

So, I have decided to resort to yet another riveting session of "Cooking with Edo", although this time my recipe is not necessarily authentic, and it is certainly not traditional in any sense of the word.

But at the same time, you can call it by a Japanese name, so that's all right. What more do you want from me? I posted about Hawaiian food last time, give me a break!

Not to mention the fact that it's a great easy dinner no matter where you live, and you can pop it in your bento/lunch-box/tupperware easy as pie. Good warm or cold, it is the perfect single-person dish!

...I'm selling it a bit too hard, aren't I.

焼き飯 (yakimeshi, fried rice)

So, technically, fried rice is not a Japanese dish. I'm dubious as to whether or not it's a Chinese dish, even, but we'll put that aside for now. Japanese dish or no, fried rice is a common dish in the land of the rising sun, and is available even in convenient frozen-food form. And really, what says authentic like a freezer section?

Oh, yea, that picture up there? A very rough representation of the recipe I'm about to share with you lot. For one thing, no peas. Never understood that desire to go randomly inserting legumes everywhere, myself. However, I have not made this dish in quite some time, and quite frankly, I don't aim for pretty and photogenic when I'm making it, so the above is really much better than the alternative.

And at least it has the right protein in it.

...Oh, right. Guess I should have called this shrimp fried rice to begin with, huh? Oh well, you can customize it to cater to your personal meat preferences, so I won't limit your imagination.

Ok, before I start, I must say that I originally adapted this recipe from that on My Lunch Can Beat Up Your Lunch!, and you may care to do so as well. You may also care to simply roam around the site, as it is awesome and has a number of recipes that I have tried and enjoyed, such as the An Pan (which is also, coincidentally, how my mother found out that she loves anko.)

All right, here we go. This is another one of those to-taste recipes, so be prepared.

Software

 2-3 Cups Cooked Rice (leftover or fresh)
 Pre-Cooked, Tail-On Shrimp, roughly chopped (how many is up to you; I usually go for a good handful)
 2-3 Carrots, diced (depending on the size)
 2-3 Large Eggs (depending on how much egg you like)
 1 Can Sliced Mushrooms, chopped (fresh should be fine, but I've always used canned, heathen that I am)
 Soy Sauce (to taste)
 Canola Oil, 2 tblsp, and 2 tblsp
 1 Can Bamboo Shoots, chopped (optional)
 1 Can Water Chestnuts, chopped (optional)

Hardware

Frying Pan
Spatula

Cook your rice, if you haven't already. You don't want it piping hot when you add it to the pan, so be sure to start it first and then leave it open to cool off a bit once it's done.

Crack both of your eggs into a bowl and beat them up with a fork; think scrambled eggs, just without the milk. I wouldn't suggest salting them, considering the amount of soy sauce you'll be putting into this recipe later. Pour your first two tablespoons of oil into your pan (keep in mind that I guesstimated here; I never actually measure out the oil, but choose instead to eyeball it) and turn on the heat. Wait for a bit, and test whether it's hot enough in your own fashion: some suggest looking for a shimmer, others suggest putting a tiny bit of your egg in and seeing if it sizzles. Myself, I go with the highly-dangerous and not-recommended method of dribbling a few drops of water in and seeing if they pop. Yea, the Food Network told you never to do that, didn't they? But me, I laugh in the face of danger, ah ha ha ha!

Once you've determined your oil is hot enough, pour your eggs in, moving them around in the pan to form a nice even layer of scrambled goodness. Then, as they cook, hack them up with your spatula to get them all nice and bite-sized before they set up too much and become difficult to cut. Myself, I like some egg in every bite, and thus try to get some pretty small eggy-bits; you might prefer bigger bits yourself, so it's up to you.

Once your eggs are cooked, turn off the heat and scrape them back into the bowl (that you have cleaned in the interim, preferably; no one wants to mix raw and cooked egg, now do they?). Try to resist snacking on your bite-sized eggy-bits throughout the remainder of the cooking process.

Clean our your pan if you so wish, then pour in the rest of your oil. Heat it up again, check using your preferred method, and then slide in your chopped-up shrimp and carrots. Now, you don't need to cook the shrimp this way--they are pre-cooked, after all--I just like the flavor it gets from the oil and carrots. Check the recipe I linked to above for other meat options, as I only ever make this baby with shrimp. If you would like to add any other vegetables (which you are free to do), add the hard ones at this point as well; you don't want any crunchy, raw veggies in your fried rice, after all. However, if you're following my recipe to the T, just the shrimp and carrots for a while.

Cook, moving around the pan every now and again, and check the carrots every five minutes or so--you want to be able to cut them in half with your spatula without too much effort. It is for this reason that you don't wanna chop your carrots too small; while they might cook much faster, they're harder to test. However, if you are a culinary genius, by all means, chop whichever way you please; just don't blame me if your carrots aren't cooked properly.

Once your carrots and shrimp are done, add your rice to the pan. Remember, piping hot is not ideal, so if it just finished cooking, toss it up a bit in the rice cooker before adding it. Stir up your pan-ful with every few scoops of rice; it's easier to mix as you go than trying to incorporate it all at the end. Once all the rice is in the pan, give it another good mix--your rice should be faintly orange in color, from the carrots, oil and shrimp.

Now, break out the soy sauce. I apologize for those of you who like a recipe with a bit more information, but this is entirely dependent on your taste. It's going to need more than you think, but it's always safer to add too little then put more on later--it's really hard to take it out, after all. Anyway, give your rice mixture a good slosh of soy sauce, and mix it up. Try to gauge by color and by taste--your rice should be browner than when it started. Again, better safe than sorry--if you've added some soy sauce and aren't sure whether or not you need more, wait until it's in your bowl before you season further.

Now it's time to add your soft ingredients--dump in your egg (don't tell me you ate it all!) and your chopped mushrooms, and your bamboo shoots and water chestnuts if you have them. I say these last two are optional because I only ever add them when they're lying around the kitchen; water chestnuts only add texture really, and bamboo shoots are pretty mild. Neither will make or break the recipe, but they are a tasty and healthy addition if you have them around. However, I have only ever added one at a time... if you add both, do tell me how it goes.

After you've mixed everything in entirely, you're pretty much done with the labor intensive part--now it's time to turn the heat down a bit and let the flavors meld. I usually let it go for about eight to ten minutes, stirring it up every now and again to make sure nothing's burning or sticking to the bottom of the pan. (Huh, that's right... I've only ever made with with regular pans. If you make it with non-stick, feel free to cut back on the oil a bit, yes?)

Once those ten minutes are up, time to enjoy! Scoop it out into a bowl and chow down, adding more soy sauce if you think it necessary (I often do, because hey, like I said, better safe than sorry.) This recipe should feed 2-3 people for a meal, or one person for a couple of meals. Pop your leftovers in some tupperware in the fridge; they microwave up a treat. You can even eat it cold, though I admit it is a bit tastier warmed up.

And there you have it--and entirely un-authentic yet very tasty recipe for you to customize and make your own! Because, after all, fried rice is one of the best recipes to customize--you can toss in whatever you want, or whatever you have lying around! Heck, you might be one of those random-legume types, and who am I to criticize! So long as you think it's tasty, go for it. I mean, you could even add piman (green peppers, similar to bell peppers) if you wanted to.

...yeeugh, piman.

This is Edo, signing out hoping that she hasn't gone too far off the cultural edge with this one...